Despite 2019 being the Year of the Pig, today is very firmly the Day of the Dog, because hot damn folks it’s Westminster Dog Show week – the bestest time of the puppy calendar year. And my friends, we have a new champion.

This week, seven very preened pups took out the top dog spot in their classes and each of these precious angels who we DO NOT DESERVE went on to compete for the coveted Best In Show award.

Please take a moment to silently nod and mutter “good dog” at the tops of the class for 2019.

Burns here is a very good, longhaired boy and I wish to cuddle him immediately. He won the Hound Group, beating out a Whippet, a Beagle, and a Basenji.

Bono the Havanese bested it over a Pug, a Yorkshire Terrier, and an English Toy Spaniel to pick up the gong in the very smol Toy Group. Also, Bono has better hair than me on a good day, so I equally love and am threatened by him.

Last year, a Bichon Frise from the Non-Sporting Group took home the gong for Best in Show, and this year it’s a very pretty lil’ Schipperke named Colton who beat a Chow Chow, a standard Poodle, and a French Bulldog for the #1 Non-Sporter.

Look at that little face! I mean it looks like he’s been painted with that Vantablack stuff that’s the darkest colour in the world but hey, I love him all the same.

HELLO MATE!

Next, we have the Herding Group. Full of dominant, whip-smart pooches, who are strong and beautiful and I wish to pat them all.

Baby Lars the Bouvier des Flandres (who I suspect is a bit more than a baby) took out the Herding Group trophy, besting a Border Collie, a German Shepherd, and an Old English Sheepdog.

Bean the Sussex Spaniel lucked it out over an Irish Setter, an American Water Spaniel, and a black Cocker Spaniel to take home the top prize in the Sporting Group. Bean! His name is BEAN!!

The Working Group is famously full of Very Big Precious Babies, and this year was no different. But it was Wilma the Boxer who took out the #1 spot, and posed the house down.

Would you just look at that stance??

And finally, we have the Terrier Group. It was a perfect little fluffy angel, King the Wire Fox Terrier, took home the honours, and I love his fancy little dog beard more than life itself.

After all the fuss of the main groups were done and dusted, it was time for the big award. The big gong for Best In Show. This is what we’re here for, people. Skimming the creme de la creme off the top of the puppy pile, and leaving the rest to be lapped up by hungry woofers.

With much deliberation and judges standing and looking at the pups with a considered eye, their heads nodded solemnly and crowned King the Wire Fox Terrier as the Best Dog In The World for 2019. At least that’s what the trophy should say.

OH, he’s a GOOD BOY.

And much like last year’s loss to crowd fave, Biggie the Pug, fans playing along at home are fuming that a Wire Fox Terrier, a breed that has now won Best In Show 15 times, took home the big bone over the very precious and slinky Longhaired Dacschund. Fair cop, I reckon.

Congratulations to King, the true king of the canines. Long may be his reign, and plentiful may be the snacks and belly rubs when he gets home.

Image: Getty Images / Sarah Stier