In imagery that is now embedded onto my brain forever more, cursing my retinas whenever my eyelids flutter closed, an Aussie mum has shared pics of a bonafide worm rave taking place in her garage.
The pics were shared in a Facebook group called Mums Who Clean, which I’d highly recommend for cleaning tips. We all need ’em!
But the mums of Australia needed to activate all their powers to battle this foe: a garage filled with worms.
A woman named Deb posted in the group ‘cos worms keep flocking to her garage when it rains. This may not sound that bad but by Jove, the pics are horrifying.
I have no personal beef with worms but that, my friends, is too many worms.
Is this a formal meeting of the International Worm Club? Have they gathered here to discuss worm politics and the pressures of magpie season? Are they trying to organise a big worm party? Is it one of the worm’s 100th birthday?
The mums of Facebook had some helpful suggestions, including using the worms for fishing bait and chicken feed or, in slightly less worm-murder vibes, making a compost bin or popping them on a lawn.
All perfectly good suggestions except for one thing: you would have to touch the worms.
This is fundamentally proving to me that I simply could not survive a single episode of I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here. Chris Brown and Julia Morris would approach me with the world’s most adorable snail and my stomach would fall right through my cargo shorts.
As per Adelaide Now, there’s a chance sopping thot La Niña could be responsible for the mass worm gathering. While worms love a bit of the ‘ol wet, if it’s too rainy they go on the hunt for dry ground. Sadly this seems to include innocent garages.
The worm of it all is making my sharehouse’s occasional cockroach look like a positively charming young gentlebug. I will be permanently wrapping my feet in Glad Wrap now though!