Ah, Bunnings. The quintessential Aussie experience.

Going to Bunnings is definitely a form of therapy for me, since I bee-line to the plant section and use my friend’s 5% off discount like it’s saving me hundreds.

But, have you ever thought about what it would be like *working* at Bunnings? Honestly, I hadn’t since I see Bunnings as more of a haven for my DIY dreams than work, but it seems like it would be chill AF, according to this YouTuber.

Garn Comedy posted a video on YouTube parodying the Bunnings worker experience – which he likens to the American dream because why not?

“Once the green apron and the fresh out of the box Kmart 20 dollar steel caps go on, I’m instantly granted the complete and utter authority to tell fully qualified tradies how to do their job,” he says, and honestly I think about this every time I asked a random teenager at Bunnings a complicated question on something I know they have absolutely no idea about. It’s like he’s reading my mind.

“Easiest job out, but, is the greeter. Standing around and greeting people as they enter, you’re essentially being paid to convert oxygen to carbon dioxide,” he jokes.

“Half the time, people don’t even register what you’re saying to them.” Cue a cut to a classic scene of a Bunnings worker greeting a woman who’s entering the store.

“G’day, go fuck yourself,” he says pleasantly as she walks by. “Good thanks, love” she says back, barely looking.

Look, if that isn’t the realest depiction of retail.

I only escaped working my sales assistant job three months ago, but the greeting role was actually the one I hated most for that exact reason – being ignored by absent-minded customers. That is, until COVID-19 hit. Then, I went from being ignored and shit on by Karens who would just pretend not to hear me for the 500th time, to being able to wield the power of who to let in since my store had a 12 person capacity.

Did I abuse this power with extreme relish and vengeance? Yes. Do I regret a single second of it? No.

Anyway, this video was definitely a trip down memory lane for me and my retail past – but I definitely do not miss it.