In further evidence that nothing is real and we are all living in a simulation, the Teletubbies, of all things, have announced that they are vaccinated – and the IRL implications of this are throwing me into a tizzy.
The official Teletubbies account announced they are vaccinated “just in time for a Tubby hot summer”, and I am losing my fucking mind over it.
We’re all vaxxed! Just in time for a Tubby hot summer ☀️ Who's ready to come out & play pic.twitter.com/AtXTExaCMs
— Teletubbies (@TeletubbiesHQ) July 7, 2021
There is just… so much chaos here.
For starters, this implies that the Teletubbies exist on Earth and share some level of reality with us as humans, since we are susceptible to the same disease? And the vaccinations are human-made? Or, alternatively, the Teletubbies universe was also ravage by COVID-19… which has it’s own implications on Teletubby geography and politics.
The lore issues are summed up in this tweet, which I still am having trouble processing:
– There is some kind of organization presumably called "Tubby/Teletubby Disease Control", modeled after the U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention.
– All the four main Teletubbies were all born on February 20, 2003, despite the show first airing in 1997.
— Tad Strange (@bread157) July 8, 2021
The Teletubbies are also for some reason 18 years old, with their birthdays listed as being in 2003… six whole years after the show actually came out??
it's illegal to lie about your DOB on medical forms *ahem* (for real though why not just make that their birthday??) pic.twitter.com/Ck1J5wkTYJ
— Melissa卌| busy playing #ACNH (@Mels_5sos_AC) July 7, 2021
On top of that, their vaccination card says they got their second jab on 22 July… which hasn’t fucking happened yet!! What is going on!!!
Maybe, actually. Their home looks an awful lot like a TARDIS pic.twitter.com/ZJgcRurM5Q
— Chris Daly (@imChrisDaly) July 7, 2021
And yes, you heathens, I have already seen ten thousand tweets reminding me what the implications about being 18+ are, so don’t even say it.
Not the only thing they’re finally legal for…????
— Alexis Pereira (@MrAlexisPereira) July 7, 2021
Then of course, there’s just the implication that Noo-Noo is the one who vaccinated them which is fucking sending me. You mean to tell me this guy is a medical professional???
Basically, The Teletubbies are either timelords living in an alternate yet parallel universe in which capitalism, medical bureaucracy and COVID-19 all exist, or nothing is fucking real. I’ve had enough of the internet today. Good night to everyone, except the person who tweeted this:
does this mean the teletubbies are allowed to spit into my mouth again now
— everett byram (@rad_milk) July 8, 2021