Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the loss of a close companion, a friend, a cursed Facebook group: Girls Advice. Gone, but never forgotten.
Girls Advice was a staple in my life, a constant source of entertainment and a really good form of birth control. But over the weekend, while sitting on my shower floor too hungover to move, I discovered that my beloved Girls Advice was gone.
Deleted.
Vanished.
Lost forever.
For those of you unfamiliar, Girls Advicewas a glorious corner of the internet, in which hundreds of thousands of girls from across the country came together in unity to ask the important questions:
- Can I get preegnet if my boyfriend fingers me?
- Does Gladwrap work as a condom?
And, my personal favourite:
- My boyfriend fucked my mum and my sister but he says he loves me, should I stay with him?
It was a truly cursed place that gives women the ability to ask their most burning (sometimes literally) questions with complete anonymity. Anything that was shared in the group stayed in the group (unless you sent a cheeky screenshot to your mates), making it a sacred place full of stories that make you lose almost all faith in the human race.
But Girls Advicewouldn’t want us to be sad at her untimely passing. No, she would want us to bask in the glory that was her life and cherish the good moments.
So please, join me in taking a walk down memory lane to celebrate and commemorate the life of Girls Advice.
For starters, we’ve got that time a girl asked how to celebrate her first Christmas without her brother, who didn’t die but is actually just a cunt.
Oh, and let’s not forget the poor girl who was forced to choose between her boyfriend and Harry Styles. Anon, who I can only assume is Olivia Wilde, if you’re reading this, please tell me you made the right choice.
This girl (who *wasn’t* anonymous) who outed herself for liking the taste of… Goat.
If Girls Advice taught me anything, it’s that too many women are dating actual children. If you have to pack lunch for your partner every day, leave him.
Speaking of boyfriends, Girls Advice also gave us *this* gift. Unfortunately, I didn’t take screenshots of the comments but you just know they were chaotic as fuck.
And let’s not forget this gem, which makes me audibly cackle every time I read it.
But if you think the relationship questions are cooked, wait until you see the parenting side of Girls Advice, which never failed to deliver some absolute zingers.
For those playing along at home, yes. It *is* a bad idea to leave your child in the backyard alone at night. I wouldn’t even leave my dog to sleep outside.
Girls Advice was also notorious for threads about dumb shit men say, and boy, they *do* say a lot of dumb shit. But my personal favourite thread is the time a girl tried to start a dumb assumptions thread and instantly won it with this gem.
Yes. This girl honestly thought steak meat was from LION.
Girls Advice also had a good knack for photoshop requests, which often resulted in some good quality content. Unfortunately, I had to crop this photo out on account of the fact that it looked like a vagina.
And finally, the creme de la creme of Girls Advice, this poor lass who had to ask for help to remove a lube stain from her satin headboard. Chuck an F in the chat for her, please.
