Good evening my fishy friends, have you ever wondered if you could cook an entire meal in your dishwasher? No? Well then, you clearly mustn’t be American, because it’s apparently all the rage over there. Get with the times, gill-more girls!
Allow me to introduce you and your brethren to dishwasher salmon. Sounds fucked up, is fucked up.
Aussie Twitter has only just stumbled upon this rather unusual American delicacy, and now we all have to suffer for it, too.
Did I know this was a thing before? Absolutely not. Am I grateful to receive such knowledge from the denizens of the internet? Absolutely not. Dishwasher salmon is so cooked that even my deep-fried brain cannot seem to process it. We are at the back-end of 2021, folks, brain full.
Come, my reluctant friend, and gaze into the abyss that is the knowledge of dishwasher salmon.
I begin every fact-check shift wading through misrepresented studies, strange health claims, baseless legal theories and flat earth pics and then something I think is too disturbing to be genuine will prove true pic.twitter.com/Za9XXKuUXT
— Gina Rushton (@ginarush) December 19, 2021
According to a quick Google search, dishwasher salmon is in fact a thing, and many people in America serve it up at family dinner. And who said Americans don’t have taste?
Sure, it’s not the most wretched concoction one can make in the kitchen, but the oven is right there. The frying pan is right there. Surely we don’t have to waterboard our salmon to get it tasting delish. Think of the crispy skin that you’re losing out on. Think of the children.
So, do you use detergent or not?
— Kane Pitman (@KanePitman) December 19, 2021
And although dishwasher salmon has only caught the attention of Aussie Twitter today, it’s been around for quite some time, shocking the masses and creating viral content in its wake.
Hell, Buzzfeed made a video where people try dishwasher salmon back in 2015, which is how you know you’re late to the party. (And yes, the salmon was served with a side of dishwasher cooked vegetables).
Also, the way I recognise every single Buzzfeed team member in this video is shocking. Mid-2010s me needed a hobby that wasn’t YouTube.
So, if you’re wondering what to serve up for Christmas lunch this year, why not chuck some salmon into the dishwasher while your main meal is taking up space in the oven.
Then, if you burn your food and ruin the holidays, you can always fall back on this disgusting salmon dish! Delectable!