Twitter Roasted Andrew Bolt’s Escape To ‘The Bush’, Which Is Actually The Mornington Peninsula

When Andrew Bolt announced he was moving from Melbourne to “the bush” in an angsty, pseudo-poetic Herald Sun column, Melburnians were overjoyed. That was until everyone realised that by “the bush”, Bolt meant the fucking Mornington Peninsula.

Mornington, which is very much a suburb of Melbourne, is anything but “the bush”.

Could he be hyping up is own lame sea-change for political ends? Perhaps he really does live inside a bubble so impenetrable that even the Morning Peninsula is a foreign and far-flung locale to him. Regardless, the man is very confused, indeed.

Now that we’ve all had a day to take in the complete and utter clownery this man emanates with every word he writes, Aussies have gotten down to the business of savaging Bolt and his poorly-articulated life choices on Twitter. As is tradition.

Of course, after complaining about Melbourne’s lockdown for months (and even calling it “accept home imprisonment” in the same column he announced his move), it’s interesting that Bolt’s framing his move to another part of Melbourne as an escape from ‘Dictator Dan’ or whatever.

Like, mate, you’ve would’ve endured the exact same lockdown regardless of whether you had fucked off to Mornington or were living it up in the thick of Fitzroy (not that you ever would, one would assume).

On top of that, the Mornington Peninsula is a fair bit more posh than calling it “the bush” would imply.

Then, of course, is the matter of what will happen to the Monrington Peninsula once he arrives.

But ultimately, this whole schemozzle says more about Bolt himself than it does about anyone else.

Good luck with the move, Andrew Bolt. Just don’t go fooling anyone that you’re heading out to the sticks.

The Mornington Peninsula isn’t the bush. You can leave your pith helmet and tan safari suit behind.

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