Americans are coming together online to share their bewilderment at one of Australia’s most pivotal and influential historical events. A pinnacle of Aussie culture. A much-revered, albeit fucking wild part of our past. Yes, I’m talking about the Great Emu War of 1932, which our friends across the pond have only just found out about.

Thanks to American writer and poet Saeed Jones, a bunch of Americans online are learning about our most bizarre historical event, the Great Emu War. Meep meep, I say. (Or whatever noise a fkn emu makes, I dunno, honk honk?)

This whole emu debacle began when an Aussie recommended that Jones purchased an Akubra to shield himself from the sun of Fire Island, gay capital of the world, where he is currently chilling out.

As with all chaotic dramas that unfurl in our world, you see, homosexuals have to play a part somewhere in the mix.

This started Jones off an a tangent about Australia’s “dangerous animals, vindictive bugs, spiteful plants, sunburned racists and cool indigenous people”, and to be honest, he’s rather spot on there.

However, he also started to talk about the fact that we lost a war with a bunch of emus, much to the surprised amusement of his American followers.

Jones’ mini-rant is nothing short of iconic, and has me thinking, yet again, about just how fucking dumb this entire part of our history is.

“Who goes to war with fucking birds????? AND LOSES???? I get mad every time I think about it,” he wrote.

Just like Jones, this is a moment in history that weighs HEAVY on my heart.

We don’t talk about the fact that a bunch of Aussies LOST against some flightless birds enough. And we had the guns. A mess and a half.

Naturally, Jones set off an a huge tangent explaining every minute detail of the war to his followers, who witnessed in utter confusion. I’m sure they were all quite bemused by the whole ordeal.

“Emus out-maneuvered a whole damn army for WEEKS, y’all. WEEKS. They were better organized and had a superior strategy,” he wrote.

I’m just waiting for Jones’ poetry book based on the Great Emu War, honestly.

Jones’ followers then started to respond with their favourite article excerpts of readings that they had started to do on the war, including one that mentions the Emus utilising guerrilla tactics on the humans to split their numbers up into “innumerable small units”. Wild shit.

This knowledge, however, would be a burden upon anyone, much less an American who cannot stand Aussies.

At least some white gays on Fire Island will now be made a lot more aware about this wild part of Aussie history.

To conclude his rant, Saeed Jones made sure to also drag the Aussie episode of The Crown, which showcased the fact that we deadass took Princess Diana out for a hike.

Many points were made here, but it was also hilarious to see someone who isn’t Aussie absolutely lose their shit about a pretty absurd part of history.

Watch out for emus out there folks. Stay safe.

Image: Getty Images / Lisa Maree Williams