Kazakhstani bodybuilder and self-confessed ‘sexy maniac’ Yuri Tolochko has married his sex doll fiancée Margo, and for the first time in my life, I truly have no words.

With just over 50k followers, Tolochko has been rather serious about his relationship with Margo for a few years now, and the pair got engaged in December 2019.

Now, like all committed couples who were engaged to be wed in 2019, there were a few hindrances with the wedding plans thanks to the year of no love, 2020. The duo was supposed to be officiated in March, but with all the COVID shenanigans, the wedding was postponed to just a few days ago.

We couldn’t have postponed it forever? No? Okay, just checking.

Tolochko captioned the video “It’s happened. To be continued,” which feels rather threatening. But the thing that is absolutely sending me over the edge is the fact that the wedding video for Tolochko and Margo is put to the tune of ‘Sugar’ by Maroon 5. Hell is empty and all the devils are here.

Have a peep for yourself right here. Or don’t. Some things can’t be unseen.

The pair have been travelling all around the world for quite some time, and sharing pics of their many adventures together. And yes, this is a grown man propping up a sex doll to pose for photos.

Well, I guess he just wanted to take his future wife everywhere with him. Still so strange, and so, so creepy.

Within the many Instagram captions that Tolochko writes are truly some gems, like this little tidbit: “She swears – but there is a tender soul inside.” Screaming.

A big old congratulations to the happy couple, which feels weird saying after I wrote an article moments ago about Jonathan Bennett and his very real partner Jaymes Vaughan, who just got engaged.

No words. Just silent screams. Smile and wave, folks.

Image: Instagram / yurii_tolochko