This is literally us right now. THIS IS US. GODDAMN WE’RE GRUMPY.
Currently, Aussies in a bunch of different states are swelteringly hot, and are most likely sitting at work right now absolutely fucking exhausted, because this level of heat does not allow for sleep. (I’m talking about me. I got none. Zero. Don’t @ me, I am not above throwing a tantrum.)
It’s so hot (and depending on which state you’re in, sticky) that many of us are tossing and turning all night, unable to drift off due to the fact that our hair is stuck to our face and our sweaty head is stuck to the pillow.
“Christ, PEDESTRIAN.TV writer,” you scoff. “Don’t you own a fan?!”
Yes. Yes I do own a fan.
The good quality fan I have purchased does SWEET SHIT ALL when it’s this hot. The air is still hot. The hot air gets trapped inside. The hot air gets moved around the room by the fan. Getting continually slapped in the face with hotter air than that which comes out of Pauline Hanson‘s mouth is not relieving whatsoever.
But today I have learned – there’s a goddamn trick. A trick from the gods. A trick from science. I love you, science.
Eco design adviser Nelson Lebo has confirmed that by pointing our fans at ourselves, we’re using them suuuuuper ineffectively. Instead of cooling down the room, you’re pretty much just attempting to cool down the sweat that’s already covering your hot, slimy bod.
Instead, try pointing the fan at an open window. TRU.
If you point the fan towards an open window to blow the hot air OUT, and open a window at the shady end of your home to draw cool air in.
Set that shit up the fan as soon as the outdoor temperature drops lower than is in your house (the hottest part of the day is the middle, so by dinner time this should (NOT ALWAYS, BUT HOPEFULLY) be cooling down.
“It’s physics,” he said. “You want to blow hot air out and have cold air coming in.”
Bad news: it only works if there’s two windows – one to let cool air in, and another to blow the hot air out. A singular condolence to the doomed readers in one-windowed sweatboxes. If you have no windows, we’re incredibly sorry you clicked and we hope you get out of jail soon.
Good luck, you sticky, sticky bastards. May a frosty cool change hit you like a delicious tonne of cold, icy bricks very soon. 
Source: NZ Herald.
