A QUICK LESSON IN DAYS OF THE WEEK: Thursday is the day before Friday, which is quickly followed by Saturday and Sunday.
And this Thursday (Jan 26) is a public holiday. Ergo, if you were smart about it and booked the Friday off as annual leave, you’d have a very sweet four-day weekend not far on the horizon.
But Australians, see – we’re not that honest, at least that’s what the experts is saying. Research says that this Friday, somewhere between 5% and 6% of us are going to pull a Ferris Bueller and call in sick.
And it’s apparently going to cost the Australian economy an estimated $54 million.
That’s according to Direct Health Solutions, which told Fairfax it estimates 5% of Aussies will be pulling a sickie this Friday, a jump of 42% from the daily average (3.5%).
Then you’ve got research commissioned by HotelsCombined, which reckons the number of Aussies taking sick leave this Friday will hit 6%.
And do you wanna know the state with the worst offenders? Queensland and Tasmania, on 8% each. You sneaky fucks. (Followed closely by WA & VIC on 7% and SA & ACT on 6%.)
“In total, with 10 million workers approximately in the economy, we are looking at about 150,000 extra work days,” said DHS managing director Paul Dundon. “Each day costs an average $360 to employers. This means $54 million for the day.
“On top of this, to cover sick leave, employers will have to keep workers on overtime to cover critical work, and employers will need to balance their service levels with potential staff shortages.”
Obviously pulling a sickie this Friday is a real suss look. Australian Chamber of Commerce and Industry‘s chief executive James Pearson said people should “do the right thing” – not least because it’ll leave you with sick days for when you actually need it.
“Misusing sick leave erodes trust in the workplace, puts extra strain on colleagues doing the right thing and leaves people short of sick leave when they genuinely need it,” he said.
“Based on experience in past years, the number of people taking sick leave on Friday could be 180,000 people more than a typical workday, costing Australian employers more than $62 million.
For all you good and perfect humans wanting to do the HONEST THING, here’s how to map our your annual leave to secure yourself an extra 10 days of holiday per year.
For all you ungodly and disgraceful ‘humans’… the art of the sickie requires build up. Use this afternoon to complain of aches and pains; vomit if you have to. Remember: no one can prove you didn’t have food poisoning.
Photo: Mean Girls.