Chlamydia and gonorrhoea are on the rise in Queensland populations, and at least one doctor reckons it’s because of all this internet sex we’ve been having.
Queensland Health recently released figures showing that 27,506 Queenslanders were diagnosed with an STI in 2016, a 10% increase on the year before.
The majority of those diagnosed (82%) had contracted chlamydia, but there was also a massive jump in gonorrhoea cases: 4006 cases in 2016 as opposed to 3038 cases in 2015, or a 32% spike.
Most of the STIs were diagnosed in Brisbane. Both gonorrhoea and chlamydia can be “silent” illnesses, i.e. have no obvious symptoms, which probably contributes to their rapid spread through an urban population of recreational shaggers.
Dr Wendell Rosevear, who runs a Brisbane sexual health clinic, told the ABC that he thinks the recent rise in sexually transmitted lurgies is due to Tinder and other copycat apps, basically:
“We’re seeing some new dynamics where people want instant sex, via the internet, so people will have multiple partners in a day.”
Rosevear also suggested that a culture of entitlement was partly to blame for everyone barebacking it all over the place like god damn lunatics:
“There is now a sense of entitlement where people think: ‘it’s my right to have unsafe sex’.“
Just so we’re absolutely clear: you’re entitled to have sex with as many consenting partners as you can comfortably fit into your schedule. But for the love of god, wrap it up before you do so.