Look, we’ve all been having fun with Pokémon GO these past couple of weeks. A lot of fun, in fact. It’s been a real neat little time and the whole community aspect of it is unassailably neat-as-hell.
But there comes a time in any fad or craze where the brakes have to be pumped. And goddamn, do we ever have to rap that MF stop button now.
A real estate listing has cropped up in Melbourne’s south-east for a house that is boasting ready access to Pokéstops and a Pokégym as selling points. Because the whole point of the game is geographic convenience, and not urban exploration, right?
The house, at 26 Merrick Street, Keysborough, sports 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a decent backyard, and the “best part is that pokestops and pokemon gym within 1km from the home.” Who needs walk-in wardrobes when there’s a Charizard down the street?
And if you’re easily swayed into making life-defining financial decisions by pop culture puns, this is the listing for you.
The house has “so much quality that is truly onyxpected,” is “sure to charmander-ttract even the fussiest of buyers,” has a “spacious veranda to enjoy a carp of tea,” and sports “a spacious rear where kids can play and run a muk in the safeguarded backyard.”
If that’s the kind of language that gets you itchin’ to drop about $700,000 on the place, the full listing and info is here for you to peruse at will.
Seriously though this has gotta stop, you guys. It HAS TO.