World’s Most Expensive Dog Is Also Most Ridiculous, Cannot Even Be Dealt With

Dogs: loyal companions unfazed by the proximity of faeces to everything, or failsafe multi-million dollar investment opportunities; adorable status symbols favoured by the Chinese nouveau riche, like luxe Neopets? 
Both, apparently. Mostly the faeces thing though.
According to the AFP, a one year old Tibetan Mastiff puppy with hair spun of sunlight and woven with gold covering a face like a ham-scented candle at the end of its wick has been sold in China for $2.16 million in what is being reported as the most expensive exchange of dog for legal tender ever.
A 56-year-old property developer apparently forked out 12 million yuan for the 80cm tall, 90kg reasonable investment at a ‘luxury pet’ fair in the eastern province of Zhejiang, with a mind to breed an adorable militia to call his own. The dog in question is pictured above left, posing as one half of the bun in life’s most insane po’ boy.
“They have lion’s blood and are top-of-the-range mastiff studs,” the breeder Zhang Gengyun has been quoted as telling the Qianjiang Evening News, adding that another red-haired mastiff sold for 6 million yuan – prices rumoured to be misleadingly inflated to boost profits.
“Pure Tibetan mastiffs are very rare, just like our nationally treasured pandas, so the prices are so high,” he added, describing mastiffs as “enormous and sometimes ferocious, fiercely loyal and protective” and also literally impossible to be even dealt with right now; I mean, can you even?  
Photo: STR via Getty