What? I thought of all the good I could do with that money — donating it to charity, buying a new winter coat, buying myself 20 Venti iced soy vanilla chai lattes. He might as well have eaten a $100 bill in front of me.”
This is the story of a woman whose quest for <3 saw her match with the world’s biggest douchebro on the world’s biggest hookup app, and manage to
control her gag reflex have a “pretty good time” (her words, but he threatened her with a 5,000% hike in the cost of living forevermore).
Then write about the experience.
US writer Jacklyn Collier came across pharma CEO Martin Shkreli – now infamous for being the dick whose company Turing Pharmaceuticals jacked up the price of HIV/AIDs med Daraprim by 5,000%, and is now facing fraud charges unrelated to the aforementioned doozy of a life choice – on Tinder last autumn.
She knew he was an A-grade twat, of course, but “wanted to be open-minded and meet the man behind the hype” after he assured her she wasn’t being catfished.
“Okay, I admit that I also had a fantasy of being the manic pixie dream girl who helped him turn his life around. I pictured us opening an HIV/AIDS clinic together and wandering the streets of New York, handing out wads of cash to homeless people and other strangers,” she adds, at which point we start to love her in earnest.
You can read Jacklyn’s entire account HERE (and you should because it’s gloriously pervy), but the long and the short of it is that he took her to Japanese in TriBeCa and spent $120 on TEA that must have been fermented with Essence Of Geisha Virginity to cost that much.
And he didn’t even rate it, according to his date.
“When Martin finished his tea, I asked how he liked it. “I’m not really a big tea drinker,” he replied.
Jacklyn actually admits to having a halfway decent time, which surprises us as much as it does you, but we still reckon she went home and showered for 6 hours because HOW COULD YOU NOT.
* swipes left for lyf *
Source: Washington Post.