Who Gives A Crap Is Officially Back In Stock, Signalling The End Of The Great TP Shortage

In years to come, people will look back on these strange times with bemusement; scoffing at the few months where we all went absolutely feral over a handful of shit tickets; where a humble bog roll turned ordinary people into hooting savages; where the simple act of obtaining a pile of bum wipes threatened to collapse the very fabric of society itself. Those days are officially over, however. Thanks to the announcement that online toilet paper emporium Who Gives A Crap is officially back in stock, heralding the official end of the Great TP Shortage of 2020.

With supermarket stock levels sapped dry in early March, Who Gives A Crap’s usually bountiful stocks were also quickly snapped up thanks to a staggering 1100% increase in demand that was recorded by mid-March.

During peak-pandemic isolation conditions, WGAC was effectively sold out globally, and was moving to drastic measures to shift the stock that they could get their hands on. Largely, this involved allowing only small handfuls of customers to purchase toilet paper at a time via email invite only, and by other measures such as reducing shipping size from 48 rolls down to 24. At the height of the pandemic, the waiting list for toilet paper on Who Gives A Crap was reportedly somewhere in the vicinity of 500,000 people.

As of today, however, the company’s online store is back open to the general public and they are operating as-normal once again.

In an email to customers earlier today, Who Gives A Crap CEO Simon Griffiths stated “I want to thank you for being so patient with us while we worked through this crazy situation, and to let you know that we’re officially back in stock! We’ll be contacting people over the next couple of weeks so our warehouses have time to prepare for an influx of orders. So, if you’re ready for toilet paper, we have it!”

“It’s been nuts, but we’re most excited for what comes next. We’re gearing up for a pretty amazing donation to our charity partners, but you’ll hear all about that next month,” Griffiths stated, referencing the company’s model of donating 50% of its products to improving sanitation conditions in developing world nations.

So while the memory of boomers hoovering supermarket toilet paper like their lives depended on it may be raw, your anoos need not be anymore.

We did it, friends. We made it to the other side.

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