Person Who We’re Told Is “Melania Trump” Makes First Appearance In 24 Days

A person or possibly a highly-sophisticated robot that White House officials assure is Melania Trump has made her/their/its first public appearance in just over 24 days, putting all speculation on the First Lady’s status to bed no further questions please stop asking about it.

FLOTUS has not been seen in the public eye since May 10th, after undergoing what President Donald Trump‘s people have been calling a “medical procedure” to address a “benign kidney issue,” an issue which the President has referred to as “a little thing.”

At a White House function for Gold Star Families (military families who have lost relatives in combat), President Trump was accompanied by a person that everyone in attendance swears was really Melania, truthfully it was, no word of a lie, conversation over.

Melania did not address the crowd at the event, at which no cameras were allowed, but social media footage shows the President arriving with what definitely appears to be a wife-like person next to him.

https://twitter.com/JenaMGreene/status/1003766147198672896

Ahh yes, conclusive proof.

FLOTUS was seated in the front row while Trump spoke to the crowd, cracking wise about the speculation regarding Melania’s absence from the public eye, joking that she could not possibly have left her husband given that she was definitely sitting in the front row, right there, no need to turn around and face anyone.

Even White House reporters are asserting very strongly that Melania was definitely there, this isn’t a stitch-up at all, and Secret Service officials definitely aren’t typing these tweets out themselves on the phones they confiscated at the door.

Melania did not speak at the event and only provided comments in the form of a pre-prepared statement issued to media, which is further evidence of how extremely real and active in White House activities she is.

Despite the fact she will not be accompanying the President on several key upcoming engagements, including trips to the G7 summit in Quebec and the Trump trip to Singapore to meet with Kim Jong-un, today’s appearance at this closed and un-photographed event stands as irrefutable proof that everything is fine between Donald and Melania Trump so please stop saying it isn’t, because it definitely is.

Next topic of discussion.

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