Waverley College, a private school in Sydney which has clearly gotten too big for its hideous Clarks lace-ups, says it will invoice fellas if they turn up at the gates with illegal haircuts.
Death, taxes and private schools going gung-ho with their ludicrous uniform policies.
Per the Sydney Morning Herald, Waverley College announced last week that any lad sporting a mullet on the first day of term two will be charged $20 and sent to an on-site hairdresser.
“If your son arrives at the college at the commencement of term two with a haircut that is not in line with college policy, he will either be sent home on his first day or we will have a hairdresser on-site where he can receive a haircut at the cost of $20, charged to his school fees account,” deputy principal Gabby Smith told parents.
“Your son will be given a choice on this day and a note will be logged on his file. There will be no phone calls home.”
I know this isn’t the point but are we talking about a qualified hairdresser? Or will it just be, like, an overenthusiastic history teacher who has always been tempted by the way of the clipper?
I ask because if it’s someone who cuts hair for a living, surely $20 is cheap as shit for a haircut. I don’t know what men’s haircuts normally go for because we live in a world where gender defines the price of a trim, thus I pay a ludicrous amount of money to keep my thick, luscious bob in check.
All I’m saying is if I were a Waverley College student, I would rock up on the first day of term with a mullet that would have Billy Ray Cyrus quaking in his boots just so I could cop an affordable restyle. Maybe a boofy middle part situation à la Hugh Grant in Notting Hill.
But alas, I digress. Back to the point at hand, which is that this is a truly stupid rule to enforce considering haircuts don’t denote a person’s character.
Also, Waverley College’s definition of no-go haircuts is straight up racist.
Along with mullets, mohawks, buns, braids and dreadlocks are “offending styles”. Nice to see racism is just being normalised under the guise of uniform policies, you gronks.
Undercuts, dramatic layers, tracks, too much product, tinting, colouring, strands of hair and lines will also be pooh-poohed.
Except for the fact that going overboard with hair gel and mousse is an important life lesson, nay, a rite of passage, surely private schools have bigger fish to fry than micromanaging students’ hair follicles? Surely.
