If there’s one thing that binds the entire first world together, it’s the high highs and low lows of being totally, thoroughly addicted to Candy Crush, right? I mean, the game didn’t make $1.3 billion last year because no one plays it, that’s for damn sure.

Well, when Activision Blizzard – the company behind Call of Duty and other less relevant games – announced that it was going to acquire Candy Crush’s parent company, King Digital Entertainment, for the chill-AF sum of $5.9 billion, as well as creating their own movie and TV studio, the future became apparent to funny-man Stephen Colbert: A Candy Crush movie is the next most logical step.

The clip is dramatic AF, you know, like your emotions when you play the game.

Liam Neeson plays Colbert’s dying father, and he says things like this: “You’ve given an old man his final sugar rush … I had a good life. I spent my best years crushing candy, and yes, as I crushed, I would sometimes think, ‘This is a huge waste of time.’ I could be reading a book or anything, but I kept on going.” 

At one point, Colbert offers Neeson some lemon drops, but oh wait, no he doesn’t, because he stored three of them together. Bye, lemon drops!

Basically, the whole thing is soap-opera-level ~drama~, it’s hilarious, and you should check it out: