Allow us to set a scene for you.
It’s a hot summer’s day, and you’re expelling more crack-sweat and boob-sweat than you know how to mop up.
The unusually high UV rating calls for an urgent trip to your local café for an ice-cold milkshake but you can’t be fucked carrying a handbag, or are maybe wearing pocketless pants, so you stash your dollars in the only safe place left: on your person, specifically down your bra or undies.
Fast forward 1 hour and poor Queen Liz is covered in sweat but – fuck it – you fish the $$$ out of your special hiding place and hand it over to the cashier, who’s all like:
WELL NO MORE.
A café in the hot and humid AF Western Australian town of Carnarvon has emboldened other grossed-out business owners Australia-wide to speak out against sweaty cash-givers by banning payment with anything produced from bras or undies.
Fascine Coffee Lounge owner Robin Weeks is *not* fucking around, sticking a note informing punters of their zero-tolerance policy to the cash register.
He told ABC North West that the sign was put up after his staff reached their limit on accepting sweaty money from patrons, because it’s an OHS thing.
“We’re dealing with food here all the time, so it’s a definite safety thing. A few of the staff had complained about it, too, which made me think we needed the sign.”
Fair call: a recent study found that the majority of banknotes we carry are contaminated with enough bacteria that it could cause an infection in anyone with a less-than-perfect immune system.
Women are the worst offenders, according to Weeks.
“I know it’s basically women, we’ve had some men that’ve put it in their jocks and pulled it out from there, [but] I know most women don’t have pockets.”
Here’s the takeaway, as we see it: if you *have* to carry your cash monies in close proximity to any orifice or particularly sweaty gland, pull it out ahead of time, not when you’re standing at the cash register.
Image via Facebook.