Gumtree is the foundations on which this mighty nation is built. I don’t even care that it’s British and was founded in 2000, this country would be nothing without the kinda-beige-lookin’ website that lets you buy exactly three hubcaps for a 2001 VL Commodore for the low, low price of one dartboard and a carton of VB.

Why would you buy new furniture when you could buy a couch off a guy who lives in the suburbs with his huge collection of reptiles? Why would you leave anything out for kerbside collection when you could sell it for $20 to a guy who spends three hours on the phone trying to haggle you down from $25? It’s a Mecca for cheap, weird shit and accounts for over 70% (that number is 100% made up) of our country’s economy.

Say, for instance, the roof of your house is full of rats. Say, additionally, that you don’t want to fork out for a rat catcher – you want to get a snake in, to eat the rats. On top of that, you don’t want to go out and buy or catch a snake, because you’ve not got extra money lying around for a snake (who does?). Gumtree is a magical place where, if all you have is homemade sausages and what you want is a snake.

That’s exactly the predicament Fremantle resident Pip Darvall found himself in. Having an abundance of snags and a dearth of snakes, he took to Gumtree to propose a cheeky trade:

“Please loan us your carpet snake to get rid of the rats in our roof, they are driving us mad. I don’t like poisons and they are too smart to get caught in the traditional traps I have set.

“Will exchange home made marmalade, bacon, pork and fennel sausages or similar. And your python will have the feed of a lifetime.”

If you’re in Fremantle, have got yourself a carpet python and both you and the python are keen for a feed, you can check out the ad here.

Source: WA Today.