Extremely Nihilistic Child Absolutely Scorches Santa With Bleak AF Letter

 

The bitter, depressing realisation that life is a meaningless bundle of tasks hits us all eventually, but that usually comes when you’ve been wearied by the world. Not, say, age six, when your biggest stresses are wanting to stay up later than your 7:30pm bedtime and what if the lollies don’t divide up into the party bags exactly equal?

A politics reporter for NPR has shared her six-year-old child’s extraordinarily bleak letter to Santa, and you’ll either die a little inside, or find a new spirit animal.

“Dear Santa,” it reads – and mum Sarah McCammon has helpfully provided a transcript. “Santa Im only doing this for the class. I know your notty list if emty. And your good list is emty. and your life is emty. You dont know the trouble Ive had in my life.

“Good bye.

“love

“Im not telling you my name”

Sorry, but with words like that, Christmas is cancelled. Candy canes are melting, reindeers aren’t flying, and instead of encouraging strangers to kiss, mistletoe is causing long-term couples to have very public breakups.

McCammon implored people to not call child services on her for this kid’s so-called troubles – they’re his brother.

Mad respect to the kid who told Santa – freakin’ Santa Claus, the bringer of gifts and star of many a kids’ film – that his life was empty.

If you need me, I’ll be listening to Mariah Carey‘s ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You‘ on repeat until the bleakness has passed.

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