The Literal Premier Of Victoria Has Shared Some Of The Borked Shit People Have Left On Trains

There’s nothing worse than leaving your umbrella on the train on a rainy Melbourne day. Or maybe your favourite Mr Bean merch, that footy you’ve had since you were a kid or a freshly-brewed cup of coffee. All of those things (if they’re not pilfered by an opportunistic commuter) end up in lost property and it seems there’s so much of it on trains in Victoria that the actual Premier’s office has stepped in.

Premier Dan Andrews took to his social media to share a few choice items found on Melbourne trains recently to remind everyone that you can actually get some of this stuff back if you have a chat with the station teams.

Some of these left-behind things, well, it boggles the mind that someone can just up and leave the train without taking ’em with them.

If you happen to be the person who lost their ceramic Michael Jackson head on @metrotrains, I've got some good news.

And I've also got news for the owners of a kayak paddle, a foot massager, and a copy of Lenny Kravitz's Greatest Hits.

We've found your stuff. pic.twitter.com/1kSKm5BwRN

— Dan Andrews (@DanielAndrewsMP) March 16, 2023

Someone, somewhere out there really left a borked ceramic bust of Michael Jackson on the train. And a paddle without its kayak. That foot massager and Lenny Kravitz‘s Greatest Hits CD is the perfect combo for a maxo-relaxo Friday afternoon, though. I’ll pay that.

The peek into the lost property box got many people offering up stories of things they’ve found (or left) on trains around Victoria, and there are some real doozies out there.

“My eldest left their double bass bow on a train,” one comment read.

“Do they have a navy Donald Duck umbrella lost in 2009?” another asked.

Did you find the printer, air fryer and blender that were on the hurstbridge train on Monday?

— Bootha Fett (@Bootha1980) March 16, 2023

Unfortunately, the only thing I have left on the train is the last shred of my dignity and that is yet to turn up, but I shall persist with my quest for the rest of time. Maybe it’s buried under the 400 umbrellas likely sitting in a back room at Flinders St Station.