Victoria Registers Zero New Coronavirus Cases In Absolutely Monumental Win Against Virus

Victoria today registered zero new cases of coronavirus and no further deaths due to the virus over the past 24 hours, representing a crucial and long-awaited win against the bastard pandemic.

Let me repeat that one, because it feels so nice to type: ZERO.

The milestone marks an eye-watering victory against the virus and its spread through the state, and the first day without a new confirmed case since June 9.

The figure also comes at the tail end of some of the strictest lockdown restrictions imposed anywhere in the world.

Today’s tally – zero, nil, zilch, nothing, nada – brings Melbourne’s rolling 14-day average of new cases down to 3.6, which is further good news for those hoping to, you know, slowly return to a life of relative normalcy.

The numbers (the lack of numbers, if anything) suggests that slow return could soon come underway.

Speaking in Melbourne yesterday, Premier Daniel Andrews said a further lifting of restrictions had been delayed while authorities waited on a batch of test results recently collected in the city’s north.

But in a statement released this morning, Department of Health and Human Services testing chief Jeroen Weimar said authorities have processed 2,100 tests collected yesterday, with hundreds more to come through the system in the hours to come.

Here’s hoping those samples come up empty, too.

More to come.