Victoria Will Be Bombarded With Pollen This Week So Get Yr Nussyblaster Locked And Loaded

Melbourne to be hit by a pollen wave to make hay fever worse. image is a cat sneezing

Sorry to all the hay fever girlies living down south, a wave of pollen is about to suffocate Victoria so get your trusty antihistamines ready.

Victoria has been plagued by rain and floods these past few weeks, with October being the state’s wettest month on record.

The good news is that the coming week are forecast to be sunny and gorgeous. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday are meant to be gloriously golden days with high temps of 25, 27 and 29 degrees Celsius, and some lovely wind to caress your hair while you bathe in sunshine.

But, this gorgeous weather will come at a price, as those of you who have noticed the tickle of the devil in their throats would know. An influx of allergens is coming to clog your sinuses and ruin your mascara.

Melbourne Pollen Count researcher (yes this is a real job) Dr Edwin Lampugnani told the ABC that a wave of grass pollen is set to assault Victorian noses and throats as the sunshine warms them up.

According to Dr Lampugnani, pollen count hasn’t been as high lately because all the rain gushing from La Niña’s la-nussy has weighed the particles down and washed them into the ground. Now that the rain has eased, winds are picking up and sunshine is back in our lives, the circumstances are perfect for grass pollen to splooge all over the state.

“All that extra moisture in the soil really means that the grass is going to be kicking on now that we have this warmer weather starting,” Dr Lampugnani told the ABC.

“So over the next week, we’re expecting Melbourne to experience some pretty high pollen levels.”

As we reported earlier, some of you allergy sufferers (particularly if you’re from Sydney) may have noticed your hay fever has already been worse than usual this spring because of La Niña (that bitch).

But don’t worry, it doesn’t have to be too catastrophic: we talked to a doctor who gave us some tips on managing hay fever. Good luck and godspeed.