Victoria has officially banned the infamous New Years Eve midnight kiss, so I guess I can pretend I am just a law-abiding citizen and not painfully alone for the holidays.
The Andrews government made the announcement on Monday afternoon to avoid the spread of coronavirus after a great stint of COVID-free days.
It may sound drastic considering our cases are virtually non-existent at the moment, but with cases spiking across the border in New South Wales, the measure is obviously designed to do everything humanly possible to avoid a third wave of the virus in Victoria.
“Just as Christmas was a little different this year, New Year’s Eve will be too,” the Victorian Government said on Monday.
“Take some hand sanitiser with you, don’t share drinks with others and [new year] kisses and hugs should be shared with those in your immediate family.”
So basically, if some creepy dude at the bar tries to give you a smooch when the clock strikes 12, you can simply tell him that Daddy/Dictator/Premier Dan said no.
Obviously, the new rule excludes members of your immediate family, presumably including your significant other, who you’re probably smooching on the reg. So basically, it’s just a ban on pashing random strangers at the bar.
Honestly, if a few pints of beer gives you the curse of god-awful taste, consider this Dan Andrews doing you a favour so you don’t start the new year waking up next to somebody you wish you hadn’t taken home.
The news comes as the city of Melbourne axed their plans for New Years Eve fireworks in an effort to stop mass gathering, instead launching a two-day food festival to keep Melburnians in the festive spirit.
Honestly, the sound of eating and drinking my way through the city sounds way better than watching some explosions in the sky.
