Victoria’s state election is coming up on Saturday November 26 and incumbent Labor Premier Daniel Andrews, Liberal Opposition Leader Matthew Guy and Vic Greens leader Samantha Ratnam are all vying for your votes. But they represent just three of the 23 registered political parties, and your local candidates could include independents or members of Victoria’s minor parties.

Minor parties have been trending upward for the last couple of decades in Australia and this year’s federal election showed us voters are less engaged and less satisfied with the majors than ever.

Almost 98 per cent of votes went to either Labor or the Libs in the 1951 federal election. That number hit an all-time low of 68 per cent in 2022. Victorian state elections have followed a similar trajectory as minor parties have gathered steam.

So if you’re seeing a bunch of signs around town telling you to vote 1 for a bunch of Victoria’s minor parties you’ve never heard of, allow us to give you a quick rundown of everyone running and what they want.

Angry Victorians Party

Led by army veteran and former cop Chris Burson, the state branch of the Australian Values Party ironically says it’s all about people over politics.

Mission: Bring “accountability and transparency” to public office.

Likes: Freedom, holding governments accountable, mental health support, weed and psilocybin, veteran support.

Dislikes: Bureaucrats, Daniel Andrews.

Animal Justice Party

The Animal Justice Party loves animals and seeks justice for them. If that’s the biggest issue for you then maybe check them out.

Mission: End abuse and mistreatment of animals.

Likes: All animals, saving the environment, universal healthcare for people and animals.

Dislikes: Factory farming, live export and animal testing, lethal forms of animal control, animals in entertainment.

Companions And Pets Party (CAP)

The Companions And Pets Party “supports your rights to own an animal and pursue your chosen activity with that animal”.

Mission: It’s our right to do whatever we want with animals.

Likes: Exotic animals, farming, fishing, horse racing, greyhound racing, animals in entertainment.

Dislikes: Being told they can’t do whatever they want with animals.

Democratic Labour Party (DLP)

The DLP has been around since 1955 and supports “traditional values” and “working families”.

Mission: ‘Straya forever.

Likes: Small business, coal, cars, the Australian flag.

Dislikes: Foreign investors, international students, unions, renewable energy, abortion, pronouns, the Aboriginal flag, Voice to Parliament, COVID vaccine mandates.

Derryn Hinch’s Justice Party

Radio broadcaster Derryn Hinch hates criminals.

Mission: More jail, less bail.

Likes: Jail and punishment.

Dislikes: Crime and violence.

Family First

​​Family First’s campaign is to protect Victorian families from the threat of radical political correctness.

Mission: Won’t somebody please think of the children??

Likes: Freedom, Christian values, punishment.

Dislikes: Sex work, porn, drugs, LGBTQIA+ people, abortion, euthanasia.

Fiona Patten’s Reason Party

Vic MP Fiona Patten is keen to be re-elected on a platform of equity for marginalised people.

Mission: Women should rule the world. End discrimination. Treaty.

Likes: Young people, LGBTQIA+ people, women, First Nations people.

Dislikes: Racism, homophobia and transphobia, elder abuse.

Freedom Party of Victoria

FREEDOM!!!

Mission: “Protect our jobs, homes and families”.

Likes: Freedom!

Dislikes: Daniel Andrews who took our freedom!

Health Australia Party

Originally founded as the Natural Medicine Party, The HAP proudly calls itself a true centrist group that just wants everyone to get along.

Mission: Create a middle ground where Australians can come together.

Likes: Natural medicines, renewable energy, the middle class.

Dislikes: pharmaceutical companies, big business, unions.

Legalise Cannabis Victoria

It’s in the name, really.

Mission: Smoke weed errday.

Likes: Weed.

Dislikes: Oi stop hogging.

Liberal Democratic Party

The LDP wants governments to get out of our lives. Vote for them so they can be in your life.

Mission: “People should be free to make their own choices and accept responsibility for the consequences, so long as nobody else is harmed.”

Likes: Low taxes but also want everything to be cheap, free speech and decentralised education (???).

Dislikes: COVID restrictions, surveillance, superannuation, taxes.

New Democrats

A brand-new minor party founded last month that doesn’t even have a website.

Mission: ???

Likes: ???

Dislikes: ???

Pauline Hanson’s One Nation

Sigh, we’d rather not with this one.

Mission: Who the fuck even knows at this point.

Likes: White Australia, guns, political corruption.

Dislikes: Refugees, immigrants, abortion, renewable energy, First Nations people.

Restore Democracy Sack Dan Andrews Party

Another new one that’s pretty much a single-issue party.

Mission: End “Dan’s dictatorship”.

Likes: Regional and outer-suburban people.

Dislikes: Inner-city WOKIES.

Shooters, Fishers and Farmers Party Victoria

Shooters, fishers and farmers — they love ‘em.

Mission: More room for activities!

Likes: Roads, law and order, right to hunt always and everywhere.

Dislikes: “The Animal Rights agenda”, national parks, animal culls (let us do it!).

Sustainable Australia Party — Stop Overdevelopment/Corruption

The ultimate party for middle-aged NIMBYs who like bushwalks and going to the ballet.

Mission: Apartments? New infrastructure? Not In My Backyard!

Likes: Animals, the environment, defence, money, looking after yourself.

Dislikes: Development, foreign ownership, immigration, the environment being trashed bc it’s pretty.

Transport Matters Party

Formed by a group of taxi drivers who formed a political party solely against Uber and cab licence costs.

Mission: Outlaw ridesharing.

Likes: Cheap public transport, small business.

Dislikes: Rideshare services.

United Australia Party (UAP)

Ah yes, Clive Palmer’s party.

Mission: “Freedom forever”.

Likes: Mining, the colour yellow, thumbs up.

Dislikes: Taxes and interest, student debts (ok, I’ll take that one), foreign ownership and investment, lockdowns, renewable energy.

Victorian Socialists

Founded in 2018, the rapidly growing Vic Socialists party is the most left-wing option Victorians have this election.

Mission: A radical reorganisation of society starting with the redistribution of wealth and power.

Likes: Workers and unions, affordable renewable energy, free healthcare, free public transport, cheap housing, Treaty.

Dislikes: Billionaires, fossil fuels, discrimination.

Well, there ya have it, all of Victoria’s minor parties summed up. You can read all about the major Victorian parties’ policies here. Good luck at the election!