If yesterday’s dance with conspiracy-laden scuttlebutt weren’t quite enough for the flailing Victorian Liberals as is, today senior party leadership has doubled-down on their intensely bizarre demands for Premier Dan Andrews to reveal his back injury was some sort of grand cover up.

In case you missed it, Victorian shadow treasurer Louise Staley issued a, frankly, bizarre press release containing a multitude of questions that she asserted Andrews “must answer” about his back injury that has had him off work for just under three months.

The release listed a staggering list of questions that Staley apparently wants answered, including “who owns the property” where Andrews injury occurred, “who called the ambulance?” and “has Daniel Andrews been interviewed either formally or informally by the police in relation to anything that occurred that weekend?”

Staley’s release concluded that “if there is no cover up then there is no reason not to provide answers to these simple questions.”

The whole thing plays into Facebook Brain-tier right-wing conspiracy theories that are idly swirling around the dregs of social media regarding the quote-unquote “true” nature of Andrews’ injuries. That the state opposition party – and the shadow treasurer, no less – sees fit to bring them into the light paints a picture a pretty damning picture of the party; a group that’s been so thoroughly ineffective during one of the most politically volatile periods in Victorian history that they’d rather cling to the nonsensical bullshit of its most poisonous core than attempt anything close to effective opposition.

Somehow worse still, senior party leadership has doubled down on the entire pissweak scenario this morning.

Opposition Leader Michael O’Brien this morning told media “There’s no reason to suspect that everything that has been said isn’t true, I think it is true, but it’s not necessarily the whole story. And it’s okay to ask questions,” which is a bit like insisting on having an each-way bet in a race with two horses in it, except one of the horses is six cat turds taped together and the other is Anything Other Than That.

Staley, quite remarkably, dug herself even further into the hole, telling reporters who actually stood there and listened to her that “nobody’s got footage of the stairs. Nobody’s got really any idea where it happened and this is a very visual world these days where we seem to have everything out there on the media but not this.”

Staley also stated “well the easiest way to stop any of these conspiracy theories – which I’m not playing into – is for these questions to be answered.”

As a direct result of this intensely weird shit, Ambulance Victoria has released a press release – with the permission of Dan Andrews – detailing the exact details of the incident.

I mean, at some point if you’re not willing to accept the A, then you’re really just pure Q.

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