Top secret documents detailing Victorian Premier Dan Andrews‘ draft platform for the November election have leaked and been obtained by The Age, and some of these policies have me packing my bags for Melbourne.
As Victorian Labor prepares for the upcoming state election, it only makes sense that they’d also have a slew of election promises under their belt.
According to the leaked documents, Labor is considering a four-day work week for Victoria, which sounds absolutely blissful. Did you feel the light of heaven strike your body after reading that? This is what God intended for her children.
Other policies listed in the leaked election platform include “advocating to the federal government for a national social housing agreement,” “taking steps towards universal dental care” and “investigating establishing Christmas Eve after 6pm a public holiday.”
I’m not quite sure what needs to be investigated when it comes to giving the people of Australia more holidays. Sherlock would want this for us, and he’s the greatest real-life detective that ever existed.
Also detailed in the draft were plans to ensure 15 per cent of parking spaces remained free for fast-food and retail workers. I love this idea, considering working in fast food and retail is absolute hell. At least give us a parking spot all to ourselves before we engage in fist combat with the Macca’s soft-serve machine for more than nine hours.
Although these policies sound like a fucking dream come true (how awful for Andrews to have his immaculate new plans ‘accidentally’ leak), some folks aren’t happy.
Per The Age, there are a few right-wing union members who are positively pissed at this leak. Mainly because they fork over dollarydoos and pay affiliation fees, which basically means they pay to have a say in the policies that come about.
A lot of folks must’ve been shocked to discover the policies had already been drafted by members of the Victorian Labor Party without consultation.
In an email obtained by The Age (kings of obtaining secret stuff), Assistant Branch Secretary of the Transport Workers Union Mem Suleyman wrote to members of the party with a few fiery words.
“The Labor Party is the democratic sum of its membership and its affiliated unions,” he wrote.
“Its policy platform should not be written by faceless advisers who clearly have little regard for union members.”
He also said that the policies were written by ministerial advisers “hiding behind Spring Street towers.”
Complaints were also emailed by United Firefighters Union Secretary Peter Marshall, who called the whole thing “scant”.
“The UFU was not contacted, and was not provided an opportunity to comment, on the draft that was released — despite the UFU being affiliated to the Labor Party since the 1930s,” he wrote.
“This demonstrates the hypocrisy of the ALP.
“If the ALP wants something, they won’t hesitate knocking on your door. Yet, despite being Labor-affiliated, the door allowing the UFU to be consulted as an affiliate was shut tight.”
The girls are FIGHTING.
I’m just here for the four day work week (gimme gimme). You’d think unions would be too.
