Can you sense that tingling? Whether it’s in the air or in your sensitive bits, there’s a whole lot of excitement and tension building, and honestly it’s getting us hot under the collar.
Deep in the back of your mind (reaaaaal deep), you may have wondered what it would be like to take your trusty vibrator out for a spin – in public. Where the whole world can see you go at it. Seeing how quickly you can get there.
To the finish line, that is. Because you’re racing it against a bunch of other dildos (you horny little minxes thought I meant something else, didn’t you?).
You’ll have the opportunity to win yourself a brand spankin’ (if you’re into that) vibrator just by entering the Vibrator Dash at PEDESTRIAN.TV’s Selfish Weekend presented by the House of Angostura, held at La Porte Space on March 16 and 17.
Back in the ol’ days I used to work at an adult store, and LET ME TELL YOU, these vibey babies can really move. I’m not even kidding, it was genuinely a proven sales method to take the demo vibrators and race them across the floor to showcase their raw, hot power.
I’d showcase a particularly buzzy clitoral vibe, and after watching it dance its way across the floor like a goddamn Irish jigger, the customer would ever so slowly grab a boxed version, face flushed. Every. Single. Time.
Mates, it is a sight to behold so GET YOUR ASSES DOWN THERE. Trust me, you’ll feel all tingly when you do.
You’ll find yourself getting flushed yourself, watching the little wiggly vibes buzzing their way along the floor, because you can be DAMN SURE they’ll always make sure you finish the race – which is more than we can say for your dodgy ex-boyfriend.
All you need to do to be in the running (well, wiggling) is head HERE to grab yourself a ticket. Hurry up and get there fast, then just get ready to sign yourself up to compete, speed racer.
Seriously though, you’ll also be screaming at your dildo to go faster, faster, FASTER OH GOD, because don’t forget: if it makes it across the finish line first, you’ll be copping a big ol’ load of tingly vibes when you take home a free vibrator.
Get those tickets ASAP, and you might score a racing, thrilling vibey boi of your own.
You’re oh so very well cum.
You won’t be walking away from this weekend empty handed, folks, thanks to our amazing sponsors fillin’ up your complimentary gift bag: The House of Angostura, Swarovski, ark swimwear, boohoo, McVitie’s Flipz , Horny Goat Weed, Yo Pro, Santa Vittoria, HASK, Fitness Show, Lifestyles & Full Time Flex.
