Unluckiest Man In Australia Identified: Bloke Has Penis “Degloved” By Dog Bite

I’m not a betting man – not even by a long shot. But even I would wager every cent I’ve ever earned on at least one, possibly both, of the following dot points being completely new information to the vast majority of you.

  1. The word “degloving” is a legitimate medical term. And;
  2. It can occur to a penis.
While you now take a quick second to cross your legs a smidge tighter, spare a thought for this unlucky sod – a local Sydney lad by the name of Paul – who ran afoul of his mate’s dog on Bondi Beach earlier this year.
The story goes that Paul was playing fetch with the pooch – a staffordshire bull terrier – and did that hilarious thing where you pretend to throw the ball but hold on to it and hide it, and then watch and laugh as your four-legged pal doesn’t even know WHAT’S going on.
Except in this case, Paul hid the ball between his legs. And the dog, wise to the ruse, didn’t fall for it one bit.
You can connect your own dots there.
Paul presented to the Bondi lifeguard tower with an expert self-assessment of his injuries.

“I’ve been bitten by a dog on my fucking dick.”

Fortunately for Paul, Paramedics were already in the tower after responding to a previous call. The flipside to that, is that the tower also happened to be rigged with cameras for Bondi Rescue, and thus the whole incident was caught on tape.

The Paramedics remarked that Paul’s penis had been degloved…
…with the skin being completely torn off from base to tip…
…which required around 100 stitches to fix up.
‘Course Paul, being a bloody good sport about the whole ordeal, consented to having the story broadcast, which will feature heavily as part of this Sunday night’s episode of Bondi Rescue, airing on Channel Ten at 6:30pm.
And as for his recovery, we’re assured that everything is now back in working order.
Though we can’t stress enough the value of a good quality box. Protect ya dick neck.