U.S. Drops Bombs On Great Barrier Reef, Is Really Sorry


In the equivalent of leaving a flaming bag of dog shit on someone else’s doorstep and then being all like “FYI that bag may or may not explode and burn your house down but I’m pretty sure it won’t! Soz bro.”, America’s Amateur Inverse Top Gun division stands accused of committing grievous bodily harm against Mother Earth Gaia after two U.S. Herrier fighter jets were forced to drop four inert practice bombs over the Great Barrier Reef last week.

Fighter jets were forced to deploy a quartet of practice devices – two inert and two highly explosive but “unarmed”, whatever that means – on the World Heritage listed marine park after things went DEFCON Shit Creek during an aborted training exercise conducted last Tuesday. Pilots intended to deploy the ordnance above the Townshend Island bombing range off the coast of Rockhampton in North Queensland but fell short of their intended target due to circumstances Navy spokesman Commander William Marks explains as “low fuel and inability to land with the amount of ordnance they were carrying.”

Aussies are appropriately pissed with the incident. 

“Have we gone completely mad?” Australian Greens Senator Larissa Waters told the ABC. “Is this how we look after our World Heritage area now? Letting a foreign power drop bombs on it?”

Officials from the U.S. Navy and Marine Corps are now working with the Great Barrier Reef Marine Park Authority to investigate the incident, locate the bombs and ensure their safe and speedy recovery.

A spokesperson for the U.S. Navy and Marine Corps. said that the likelihood of the bombs exploding was remote, to which Nemo says…

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