Look, we don’t want to kinkshame anyone, some people are into sex-time piss things and that’s fine. Anyone that doesn’t have some sort of weird sex shit they’re into is frankly boring as hell and I have no time for them. If Trump‘s thing is piss, sure, whatever, he’s rich and probably bored to death of every other possible sex act.

If Trump paid sex workers to piss on a bed in the presidential suite of a hotel because Michelle and Barack Obama had previously slept in it? That’s funny as shit.

Unfortunately, the story is more than likely completely false. The “report” posted by Buzzfeed is completely unverified, and the only parts that have been fact-checked have been proven to be untrue. It’s a very convenient narrative that left-leaning people would love to believe, and have chosen to do so, which is not a great reflection on the left as a whole – who have been condemning the right for consistently doing the same thing, throughout and following the election.

One plus side though? We are getting a lot of great tweets out of it. If the internet can manage to squeeze good jokes out of the other, mundane shit Trump has done, imagine what they can do when given “piss” as a starting point.

Actually, scratch that, don’t imagine it, have a look:

In a very “million monkeys, million typewriters” moment, someone even managed to predict the scandal, in March last year:

Some of Trump’s own past tweets / actions have certainly taken on new significance now:

Trump, who gets pissy and upset when anyone looks at him funny, was quick to emphatically express his displeasure with this turn of events:

People who have been following this nightmare mess of complete nonsense will also be aware that some people from 4chan, the infamous hive of 16-year-old internet chodebeasts, has claimed responsibility for inventing the story and covertly feeding it to intelligence people – so, uh, nice job nerds, you’ve convinced a large portion of the population that your hero is into piss stuff.

What a bloody day.

Photo: Getty Images / Win McNamee.