Twitter Is Straight Refusing To Acknowledge That This Sheriff Sucks You Off

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Published

July 11, 2017

10,000 years ago, the average homo sapiens would encounter, at most, two memes in their lifetime. In the year 2017, the average homo sapiens is exposed to over 500 memes every hour. Pretty dizzying statistics that are also completely real.

It’s not really newsworthy when a new meme crops up – memes wink in and out of existence like fart bubbles on the surface of a bathtub – it takes a special meme to warrant writing about. Allow me to introduce you to the sheriff of sucking you off:

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howdy. im the sheriff of suckin u off. im gon suck u off

— BRANDON WARDELL (@BRANDONWARDELL) June 8, 2017

The sheriff of sucking you off is a cowboy, primarily constructed of ‘100’ emojis, and he sucks you off. There’s not much else to it. He was created by American comedian Brandon Wardell and soon took Twitter by storm because, duh, he’s the sheriff of sucking you off.

Struggling to picture that? Please allow me to show you this PG photoshoot that depicts the process:

guess who i met ?? pic.twitter.com/j8ChoHKjKJ

— BRANDON WARDELL (@BRANDONWARDELL) June 24, 2017

As memes are wont to do, this meme has been riffed on thousands of times:

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howdy. im the sheriff of train emojis. whys there so many train emojis.

— sargon of ACAB ?? (@DOGGEAUX) July 7, 2017

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howdy. I’m the sheriff of existential crises. I’m not sure why I’m here

— tony (@sadvil) July 10, 2017

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Howdy! I’m the sheriff of phone calls with your mom

— Sophie (@sophiehelf) July 11, 2017

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Howdy. I’m the sheriff of every mom meme on Facebook

— Tonytoughstuff (@Tommytoughstuff) July 10, 2017

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Howdy, I’m the sheriff of your fucking nightmares

— wheres your scooter? (@cncrxszn_) July 11, 2017

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i’m the ikea sheriff, please take my flat pack home and assemble me at your leisure

— summer of gabagool (@jimpjorps) July 9, 2017

Hell, even brands are getting on board with the meme based on an emoji cowboy that gives you a blowjob:

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Howdy, I’m the sheriff of vacation eatin’ and calories don’t count.

— Universal Orlando (@UniversalORL) July 10, 2017

Astonishingly for a fellatio joke, Twitter even made a moment out of it. Conspicuously absent, though, is any mention of either sucking off or the very sheriff who is going to suck you off. Presumably because the content is meant to be all-ages friendly, they have erased the majestic progenitor of these surprisingly difficult to recreate memes (lining up those emojis is a pain in the ass).

Perversely, as Wardell has observed, the family friendly versions of eclipsing the original in popularity.

the sheriff of train emojis now has more RTs than the sheriff of suckin u off but real heads kno who came first https://t.co/iPLyMLdawB

— BRANDON WARDELL (@BRANDONWARDELL) July 8, 2017

We will not stand for this erasure of the sheriff of sucking you off. Never forget the sheriff of sucking you off. He is going to suck you off.

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howdy. im the sheriff of suckin u off. im gon suck u off

— BRANDON WARDELL (@BRANDONWARDELL) June 8, 2017

Photo: Westworld.