Oh, lord. Here we go. The on-going lawsuit between President Donald Trump and adult film star Stormy Daniels was already threatening to make public a whole mess of stuff that your average punter probably doesn’t need in their brain. But now lawyers for Daniels have decided to bring out the big guns: They may, or may not, have nude photos of the goddamned President.
A quick catch-up for those not across this whole debacle: Trump and Daniels reportedly had a sexual encounter (christ) in 2006, after meeting at a celebrity golf tournament in Nevada. This affair is said to have occurred barely a year after Trump had married current wife Melania who was, depending on what reported timeline you believe, either heavily pregnant with, or at home nursing, their son Barron.
While the 2016 Presidential campaign was in full-swing – the one that Donald Trump actually won and ascended to the office of President, in case you haven’t fully accepted it yet – Trump’s personal lawyer Michael Dean Coen is said to have paid Daniels US$130,000 to keep quiet about the affair and deny it publicly, tying her to a reasonably shaky-looking nondisclosure agreement.
Daniels has since filed suit in an effort to invalidate that NDA, contending that the contract is null and void because Trump himself never signed it.
Got all that?
Good.
Daniels’ lawyer, Michael Avenatti, appeared on US cable channel MSNBC a short while ago and discussed the lawsuit with host Ari Melber. Among the litany of other claims Avenatti asserted regarding the case, he extremely strongly hinted that they have photos of Trump in compromising positions.
Or, to read between the lines on that thinly-veiled threat, Stormy Daniels’ legal team has photos of Donald’s dick.
Stormy’s Lawyer on MSNBC. I’ll paraphrase. “We have photos of Trump’s penis”.
— Claude Taylor (@TrueFactsStated) March 19, 2018
Christ alive.
The leaking of any compromising photos of ah… the Donald… is an abhorrent invasion of privacy that shouldn’t really be inflicted on anyone, but the legal nature of the case coupled with the lax nature of American laws means this now feels less like a threat and more like an inevitability. And to that end social media is in unanimous agreement: No thank you.
Enjoy the last few days of memes existing where the image in the meme isn’t Trump’s penis
— pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) March 19, 2018
If Stormy Daniels has pictures of Donald Trump’s penis, we’re all going to end up seeing them.
Or, if we’re lucky, the sun will explode.
— Middle Age Riot (@middleageriot) March 19, 2018
What if trump has a good penis, are you all ready for that??
— c a i t l i n (@hello__caitlin) March 19, 2018
Am now counting down the days until I see a photo of Trump’s penis and turn to stone. https://t.co/oUBJClfU5S
— Holden Shearer (@HoldenShearer) March 19, 2018
Dudes: next time you’re thinking about sending an unsolicited dick pic, remember this sick uncomfortable feeling you’re getting as you read this tweet and realize you might accidentally see Trump’s tiny orange penis online. https://t.co/wDvl6Cg7Ua
— Charles Evans (@banditref) March 19, 2018
https://twitter.com/mothenthusiast/status/975884061792198656
If Stormy Daniels has pictures of Donald Trump’s penis, we’re all going to end up seeing them.
Or, if we’re lucky, a meteorite will hit earth before that happens.
— Denizcan S. (@MrFilmkritik) March 19, 2018
https://twitter.com/pattymo/status/975883694929076227
It will be extremely disappointing if Trump has a beautiful penis
— Wild Geerters (@steinkobbe) March 19, 2018
These are the Bad Times™ we live in, mates. The darkest timeline of all.
