There is no dearth of things for which one could criticise Donald Trump. His abominable attitude towards immigration and refugees; his refusal to step up as a world leader; his predatory attitude towards women. Unfortunately, all of these are kind of subjective, i.e. some people reckon all of that shit is bloody brilliant.
One aspect of the Don that is very, very hard to defend, however, is his… unusual method of shaking hands.
We’ve covered this before. Several times, in fact. Because the alarming vice-grip-and-jerk just keeps on happening. We’ve watched Shinzo Abe look mortally relieved to be free of the Orange One‘s limpet-like grip; we’ve seen Justin Trudeau effectively neutralise him with a combo of upper body strength and steely determination. It cannot be glossed over: the man is not good at shaking hands.
But this latest one has got to be the cringiest of the lot. Watch what he does to poor French president Emmanuel Macron in this thirty-second hell-hold at yesterday’s Bastille Day celebrations:
The man refuses to let go, even while saying goodbye to Macron’s wife, Brigitte Macron. The shake goes on for half a minute. It’s astonishing. It’s excruciating. It makes your insides want to shrivel up and slither out of you at the same time.
Donald, my man: even the die-hardiest of MAGA die-hards can’t defend you here. Please, please, find someone to teach you how to shake hands like a person born and raised on Planet Earth.