Trump Has Installed A $50,000 Room-Sized Golf Simulation In The White House

We all know Donald Trump loves a bit of golf. But we did not know that love would extend to installing a room-size golf simulator in the White House like some kind of cyberpunk fever dream. This is the sort of thing they wouldn’t put in a sci-fi movie for fear of coming across as hack.

According to The Washington Post, the system allows Trump to play virtual rounds at courses all over the world by hitting a ball into a large video screen.”

Here’s the thing, though: this isn’t the first advanced golf simulator in the White House. In fact, this new $50,000 model replaces an “unsophisticated” model installed by Obama, according to the source who revealed its existence. Apparently Trump fronted the cost himself.

WaPo puts Trump’s installation in the context of other leisure facilities built by previous presidents:

The White House has a long history of changes made to suit presidential hobbies. Dwight Eisenhower put in a putting green. Richard Nixon added a bowling alley. Obama turned an existing tennis court into a full basketball court and added his own golf simulator. One former aide to Obama called it “fairly unsophisticated” on Tuesday, but did not provide more details.

According to the source, Trump hasn’t actually used the simulator yet. He has played golf extensively during his tenure as President, despite frequently criticising Obama for doing the same.

Here’s what I fantasise is going to happen. Trump is going to become insanely obsessed with this golf machine. He’s going to spend more and more time on it, until he spends more time playing virtual golf than real golf. Then he’ll end up spend more time in the golf Matrix than actually being President.

Then he will lose the ability to distinguish the fake golf world from the real world.

Soon enough, he will see the digital heads up display, ball trajectory, and speed/wind figures in his regular life. He will go insane. The world will collapse into nuclear war.

Sorry, I got a bit carried away. The fact of the matter is this: Trump has a room-sized $50,000 golf simulation in the White House now. Make of that what you will.