When Prime Minister Scott Morrison addressed the nation on Sunday night, he read out a list of non-essential gatherings which would be banned to prevent the spread of the coronavirus. The list included pubs, clubs, gyms, places of worship, cinemas and… “the trampoline venue”.
Ahh yes, the trampoline venue. That cherished mainstay of every Aussie childhood. Prepare to say goodbye to this bastion of memories, because as of today, we will no longer be able to congregate there.
“There will not be congregating up at the trampoline venue or whatever it happens to be,” the Prime Minister said, with a completely straight face.
No more congregating, guys. At least not at the trampoline venue.
Ahhh the local trampoline venue pic.twitter.com/MDWidLGGB8— Amber (@Charamber) March 22, 2020
Of course, this extremely relatable quip resonated with the ordinary, everyday folk of Twitter.
Hey fellow teens who wants to congregate at the trampoline venue— Deirdre (@figgled) March 22, 2020
Got a good feeling about going to work at the Trampoline Venue today…— Amy Gray (@_AmyGray_) March 22, 2020
scott morrison just said that these school holidays won't be the usual holidays, as children won't get to congregate at the 'trampoline venue' like usual— Tom TanuQi (@tom_tanuki) March 22, 2020
it's sad because congregating at the trampoline venue is one of the highlights of childhood
kids love the trampoline venue
IS YOUR CHILD TEXTING ABOUT LOCAL TRAMPOLINE VENUE?— “lockdown larry” (@maximum_sincere) March 22, 2020
ILU = I love undulating
TFW = the flipping, whee
LOL = lover of leaping
STFU = superjump to fun upgrade
OMW = on my way (to the local trampoline venue)
ROFL = roll or flipp leaping
When kids say “gotta bounce”, they mean they must pay a visit to their nearest Trampoline Venue in order to coalesce with other youths— “lockdown larry” (@maximum_sincere) March 22, 2020
Me freaking out about not being able to go to the Trampoline Venue pic.twitter.com/80dYBwyiTD— On Hiatus. (@HarrisonVevo) March 22, 2020
Panic buying! At the trampoline venue— hotter mark (@aislina) March 22, 2020
he really coulda just said skate park but he went with trampoline venue— bughead ???????????? (@ohhecomin) March 22, 2020
I look forward to visiting The Trampoline Venue when all of this is over.— Tosh Greenslade (@ToshGreenslade) March 22, 2020
For what it’s worth, the Prime Minister’s statement about our beloved trampoline venues actually did clear up a bit of confusion.
Indoor trampoline park Sky Zone has closed down its Sydney and Brisbane, um, “venues” in order to prevent the spread of the coronavirus.
In a statement, the company literally said: “Boy, everything really just keeps happening.”
“The thing is, even people without COVID-19 symptoms can be contagious and the only thing we want to be spreading around our venues is fun. We care about you too much to be putting any of you at risk of anything other than having a good time.”
However, Bounce Inc., which has several “venues” in Melbourne as well as in Adelaide, Perth, Brisbane and the Gold Coast, took a different approach.
While they have not announced a closure just yet, they have implemented stringent hygiene and social distancing measures in order to reduce the risk of spreading the virus. Management could not be reached for further comment.
But regardless of what’s going on at the trampoline venue, you all heard the PM: don’t congregate there! Skedaddle!