When Prime Minister Scott Morrison addressed the nation on Sunday night, he read out a list of non-essential gatherings which would be banned to prevent the spread of the coronavirus. The list included pubs, clubs, gyms, places of worship, cinemas and… “the trampoline venue”.

Ahh yes, the trampoline venue. That cherished mainstay of every Aussie childhood. Prepare to say goodbye to this bastion of memories, because as of today, we will no longer be able to congregate there.

“There will not be congregating up at the trampoline venue or whatever it happens to be,” the Prime Minister said, with a completely straight face.

No more congregating, guys. At least not at the trampoline venue.

Of course, this extremely relatable quip resonated with the ordinary, everyday folk of Twitter.

For what it’s worth, the Prime Minister’s statement about our beloved trampoline venues actually did clear up a bit of confusion.

Indoor trampoline park Sky Zone has closed down its Sydney and Brisbane, um, “venues” in order to prevent the spread of the coronavirus.

In a statement, the company literally said: “Boy, everything really just keeps happening.”

“The thing is, even people without COVID-19 symptoms can be contagious and the only thing we want to be spreading around our venues is fun. We care about you too much to be putting any of you at risk of anything other than having a good time.”

However, Bounce Inc., which has several “venues” in Melbourne as well as in Adelaide, Perth, Brisbane and the Gold Coast, took a different approach.

While they have not announced a closure just yet, they have implemented stringent hygiene and social distancing measures in order to reduce the risk of spreading the virus. Management could not be reached for further comment.

But regardless of what’s going on at the trampoline venue, you all heard the PM: don’t congregate there! Skedaddle!

Image: iStock / JackF