TRAGIC: United Patriots Front Missed The Deadline To Register Its Party

For all its flaws, democracy in this nation gives the average punter a voice. A moment where you can take a stand for what you believe is right. A brief, shining opportunity to tell the powers that be that we just won’t take it any more. 

Well, if you’re a staunch nationalist who believes Australia is fundamentally swirling down the shitter thanks to our namby-pamby rules on immigration and political correctness, that moment is… not going to be at the upcoming July 2 Federal Election.

‘Cause the United Patriots Front didn’t register their FORTITUDE Party in time. 

After all their flag-waving, anti-Islam, protest-chucking gusto, ABC reports the party just ain’t on the list of approved parties for ever-nearing double diss. That’s despite the fact the group gifted us all with this local wrestling tournament promo clip heralding the party’s imminent arrival last year. 

It’s unclear whether their absence from the vote is down to them a) not clearing the required 500 member mark, b) having defacto figurehead Blair Cottrell and his followers forget the May 16 sign-up deadline, or c) being knocked back for any number of political no-nos. 

Hypothetically, if they had sorted out the paperwork, Australians would be at liberty to vote for a party that wants to ban the immigration of Muslims and cut the construction of mosques. Keep in mind, the “party” brands itself as staunch proponents of the Constitution, although it preeeeetty clearly mandates the free expression of religion. 

Elsewhere, they’ve basically issued a fatwa against anything that violates their notion of “the Nation,” which totally isn’t a little fascist, not at all. Still, if you occupy the centre of the hyper-nationalist / solar energy proponent Venn diagram, you might be glad to hear they, oddly enough, are all about a transition to renewable energy.

But you still won’t be able to vote for pre-ordained “Senate candidates” Thomas Sewell and Christopher Shortis. Because they didn’t register. Maybe next time, patriots.