Tony Abbott Wasn’t Invited To Joe Hockey’s Republican Play Date

As it turns out, little Joe Hockey did not invite young Tony Abbott to his special Parliamentary Friendship Group.

Nor did he tell the Prime Minister that he’d be co-chairing said cross-party group championing the cause of an Aussie republic, with Labor senator Katy Gallagher.

And so, this morning Tony Abbott was forced to reply in the negative to Lisa Wilkinson asking him LIVE: “Did [Hockey] check with you before announcing his position?”

(And if you are honestly asking whether this story is mostly an excuse to Photoshop an ungodly Hockey-Weiners mash, we shall be forced to respond with an affirmative).

Abbott’s exact response to Wilkinson: “Well, Joe and I talk about many things but ah, mostly it’s the economy and what the government can do to improve the economy by cutting taxes, cutting regulation, getting productivity up. As you know, this is a government which is focused on jobs growth and community safety so, um, no we didn’t talk about this because we’ve got, I suppose, bigger things on our minds most of the time-uh. But ah, ah, there are lots of parliamentary friendship groups and this is just another one of them.” 

Other notable friendship groups on the go at the mo include: Parliamentary Allergy Alliance, Parliamentary Friends of The Outback Way and Parliamentary Friends of Rare Diseases. Such groups obviously give politicians the chance to put aside party differences and meet up to chat shit about the “unique economic benefits of The Outback Way” et cetera. 

As of this week, in the words of Peter FitzSimons – the dude with a penchant for a smart red bandana – the republicans are “putting the band back together”. And so, for noted republican Hockey, his involvement is really not unusual. Especially considering he’s very openly republican, as is Chrisopher Pyne, Wyatt Roy, Marise Payne and Malcolm Turnbull, who today said of his new group: “Good on him … everyone knows where I stand on the republic, I am a notorious republican.”

Of the announcement about Hockey’s involvement in the campaign, and perhaps to suggest a reason he didn’t know about it, Abbott said: “I think probably it was sprung on him a bit by one of your fellow media people.”

~media people~

As for the opinion of one anonymous government minister, who believes Hockey has shown a “complete lack of judgement” by engaging with such a “peripheral issue,” and the suggestion that he has more important things to get on with, where were these people when Hockey became a card-carrying Parliamentary Friends of Rugby Union co-chair?  

We say again, he’s already a PARLERMENTAREEFRENDOFRUGBEEU-U-U-U-UN-I-ON.

Elsewhere in the cabinet, Kevin Andrews MP is a parliamentary friend of arthritis and the Hon Scott Morrison is part of the National Student Leadership Forum Parliamentary Group (NSLFPG). 

No, the issue here is not Hockey’s hobbies – it’s cumulative. This story is being picked up because of the cabinet leaks (see above), the documented disunity and the fact that Tony Abbott – a former Executive Director of Australians for Constitutional Monarchy, current champion of Prince Philip‘s trophy cabinet and author of ‘The Minimal Monarchy‘ – didn’t know shit about it.