IRL Draco Malfoy (aka Tom Felton) is the latest celebrity to sell himself out on Cameo, so I guess that’s what all of your Slytherin mates are getting for Xmas this year.
If you’re a diehard Harry Potter fan, you can now have Draco Malfoy himself call you a mudblood (or something far less offensive).
“Hello boys, girls, ladies and gentlemen, my name is Tom Felton and I’m excited to be using this Cameo app” the Harry Potter actor says in his promotional clip. “So hit me up for all your birthday requests or spiritual guidance or motivational speaking.
Yes, you can literally receive motivational advice or “spiritual guidance” from Draco Malfoy himself. Truly iconic.
But this celebrity experience doesn’t come cheap, with the price tag sitting at a hefty £239 (approximately $454AUD) per video. In addition to the cost, the video also has a one-week turnaround, so it’s not exactly a last-minute birthday gift idea.
Diehard Potterheads don’t seem to be discouraged by the hefty pricetag though, because Tom has an admirable 4.9/5 star rating out of 89 reviews.
By my calculations, Felton has made a quiet $40,406 (approximately) from these videos, which is quite literally more than many of us will make this year. Say what you will about Slytherin, but they raise some financially savvy wizards.
If you’re not in the market for some spiritual guidance, you can ask Felton to give us one of his most iconic lines like:
“Longbottom, if brains were gold, you’d be poorer than Weasley, and that’s saying something.”
“Red hair, and a hand-me-down robe? You must be a Weasley!”
“No one asked your opinion, you filthy little mudblood!”
And of course, “my father will hear about this!
If you’ve got a spare $500, you can get a personalised Tom Felton video here, or you could spend it on something slightly less ridiculous. But I won’t tell you how to live your life, the world is your oyster, baby.