Friends, gather round, because a group of Japanese artists are celebrating the Tokyo 2020 Olympic spirit with a series of super fkn cool depictions of every country as a samurai. It’s honestly the best thing I’ve seen all week, I’m obsessed.

This is all part of the World Flags project, which was drummed up to muster some excitement about the Tokyo games.

“Samurais are unique to Japan and we want everyone to get to know traditional Japanese culture,” creator Kamaya Yamamoto told the BBC.

“We hope this can be a way for people to learn about other countries,” said Kozo Yamada, who is another artist that worked on the project.

“That’s what the Olympics are about.”

Now, before you get too excited, it is with a heavy heart that I must tell you that the Aussie samurai is boring as hell. In fact, it may just be the only boring one.

It literally looks like a Hemsworth brother or some other kind of blonde surfer type, and he’s dressed in southern cross armour. Don’t believe me, well here he is.

Theydies and gentlethems, introducing Edo Wado / Edward, as the World Flags project site calls him.

australia samurai edo wado

He is classified as being “bold to do anything”, and “simple” in design on purpose, because I guess the artist caught wind of our obsession with calling ourselves ‘laid back’.

His ‘specialty’ is called the “Outback Slash”, and when he gets a break from being a second-rate Hemsworth brother, he apparently likes to “play with dolphins on the beaches of Sydney.”

He is also noted as having created the “Vegemite Promotion Committee” for the sole purposes of spreading Vegemite.

So in other words, we have very little culture to draw from. Would’ve been exciting to see a First Nations person instead of this boring blonde white man.

On the other hand, New Zealand’s samurai is fkn SICK.

This is Shelford, and his favourite ice cream is Hokey Pokey, apparently.

He is noted as being “easily moved to tears.”

“Just looking at a couple who drinks cola makes him feel the unfathomable love of the couple, and he gets happy tears,” Shelford’s description reads.

What a hero.

Meanwhile, across the pond, this here is papa Giovanni, the Italian samurai, and he makes me feel a whole heap of ways.

giovanni samurai italy

But get this, one of his “greatest joys” in life is to “come up with jokes, protect women and be kind.” Ummm? Marry me??

His weak point is also classified as being “cucumber” and I have so many questions about where exactly he exudes this cucumber energy and also how can I see it.

While Italy is heralded as a badass romantic, the UK over here was made to look like a whole-ass villain, and something about that just feels so correct.

the uk samurai

Look at him. Evil. Also, his name is William which is an interesting choice indeed.

It’s important to keep in mind that while these samurai look cool and all, they’re pretty stripped back compared to the batshit excellence that some other countries received.

I mean, look what Ecuador got. Now that’s fkn brilliant.

ecuador

You can have a gander at all of the World Flag samurai right here.