If you’re in need of some toilet paper after Australia went batshit crazy over the stuff this week, might I suggest befriending the Queen of toilet paper, Haidee Janetzki.
No, no, no, this woman isn’t a crazy toilet paper hoarder who’s throwing punches in your local Woolies. She actually acquired her lifetime supply of toot rolls back in February after accidentally ordering 48 boxes of the stuff.
The Toowomba local was laughed at by friends when her giant Who Gives A Crap order arrived in early February, but now she’s blessed with a lifetime supply of Australia’s most valuable commodity, toilet paper.
“The jokes on you Australia, while you were all out there scrambling for toilet paper all through the supermarkets- knifing each other getting into fights and carrying on,” Haidee’s husband Chris Janetzki said in a Facebook livestream.
“We are flying high. We are sitting pretty, we are loaded with toilet paper. In fact we think we are royalty now, check out our throne for our toilet paper Queen.”
Chris shared the hilarious delivery in a Facebook livestream back in February, poking fun at his wife’s error. But even before the coronavirus outbreak, Haidee was convinced the footage would end up going viral.
“My husband first made a live Facebook video the day we got the delivery saying you know look at this dumb thing my wife it’s pretty funny. I commented to him at the time- it will probably go viral,” she told the Daily Mail.
“But it’s not been until this last week or so that they’re been no toilet paper on the shelves that people have really started to comment oh you guys are sitting pretty now, and how did you know, and did you see the future on that one?”
The huge loot cost a whopping $3,264, which is a big jump from the $68 credit card bill she was expecting.
It is estimated that the 2,304 rolls could last the family 12 years, which could be how long it takes for the rest of us the calm the fuck down and stop panic-buying.