Can Someone Throw Tim Smith’s Phone In The Yarra So He Stops Tweeting About Fkn Dan Andrews

tim smith

Liberal frontbencher Tim Smith won’t stop trying to dunk on Dan Andrews on Twitter in some serious schoolyard bullying bullshit and mate, can you give it a fucking rest already?

In case you’ve somehow missed it, we’re currently in the midst of a pandemic. It’s not good. If we’re not careful, thousands of people could die. And here in Victoria, Premier Dan Andrews is trying his bloody hardest to navigate through the murky waters of the coronavirus pandemic.

Sure, Dan Andrews has been a little bit more strict with Victoria’s restrictions when compared with other states. But at this stage, we’ve got no fucking idea what the right decision is, and we won’t know until we’re looking back with hindsight because that’s the nature of a pandemic.

Andrews is far from perfect, but one man in particular has been taking the criticism to embarrassing new lengths this week, and that man is Liberal frontbencher Tim Smith.

Instead of doing anything productive with his time, Smith has seemingly spent every waking second of his life thinking about Dan Andrews.

tim smith
Dan Andrews right now.

On Wednesday night, Smith (who I’ll remind you is a Liberal frontbencher and the Shadow Minister for Planning & Heritage, Housing, Population and Local Government) took to Twitter to call the Premier a “friendless loser.”

Oh, and let’s not forget the hashtag #danhasnomates.

Yes. A “friendless loser,” somebody get Dan Andrews some cold water for that $ick burn, bro.

But if you thought this was some sort of insane lapse in judgement, think again because he’s not only defended his actions, but has confirmed that he’ll continue to shitpost on Twitter to push whatever agenda he’s trying to push right now.

“My concern is getting issues on the agenda, and if that means I have to use colourful language, then I will continue to do so, because these are the issues that Victorians are talking about. I mean, your talkback has raised very similar points to what I raised on Twitter,” he told radio host Neil Mitchell.

More recently, Smith took to Twitter today to ask the internet’s “preferred label” for Andrews, with the options including “Chairman Dan” and “Dictator Dan,” asserting that the Premier’s actions during the coronavirus pandemic makes him some sort of tyrant.

In unsurprising news, Smith’s replies were almost instantly flooded with people calling him a “massive f-wit” and “an absolute douche-nozzle of epic proportions.” So here’s hoping he can take the name calling as well as he can dish it.

The MP has also dished sick burns like “control freak wowser”, “Dictator Dan”, “schmuck” and even going so far as to call Andrews a “fear mongering doomsday propagandist.”

Heck, he’s even been counselled by State Opposition Leader Michael O’Brien because apparently it’s not appropriate to call the Premier a “loony” during a breakfast television interview. Who knew?

You’d be forgiven if you thought you were reading through your salty ex-boyfriend/girlfriend’s private Twitter. But no, this is a politician who seemingly has nothing better to do for the state of Victoria (or for his own entertainment) than shitting on Dan Andrews.

Politics comes with its fair share of shit-talking, but it’s a bloody weekend. Give it a rest.

We all miss the pub, Timmy boy, but I assure you, there’s more useful ways to spend your time that don’t include calling Dan Andrews a dictator on Twitter.

Dan, my dude, please open the pubs back up so Tim Smith can sink a beer and shut the fuck up.