We’ve all seen Blackfish, right? You know, that extremely heartbreaking documentary about Tilikum, the orca driven murderously mad by a lifetime of abuse in captivity?

This Wild Instagram Footage Is Proof That Killer Whales 100% Wanna Eat You

yeah, this guy

There are a few main take-aways from the film. One, obviously, is that giant intelligent marine mammals should not be kept in tiny enclosures, forced to breed with strangers and made to perform tricks for our entertainment.

And the other, just as important lesson that we’ve learned from the extensive research into Tilikum and his ilk is that KILLER WHALES ARE THE PSYCHOPATHS OF THE SEA

Oh, you don’t believe me? Watch this:

A whale of a good time here at Whytecliff Park today.

A post shared by Robin Léveillé (@robin_leveille) on

That’s two blokes, just trying to enjoy themselves in the water at Canada‘s Whytecliff Park, having their mellow thoroughly harshed by an extremely dickish pod of oversized dolphins. 

Quit clinging to your Free Willy-era naivete, sheeple. I don’t care how much you loved that sheet set with the airbrushed underwater scenes on it, or how fiercely you longed for your own gigantic black-and-white ocean puppy. Orcas are monsters who want to bite off your genitals, and we should be looking into methods to get the hell off their planet with alacrity. 

Until then, for the last time: STAY THE HELL OUT OF THE WATER.

Source: 9 News.

Image: Instagram / @robin_leville.