When Twitter was first invented in 2006, it was mostly used by Twitter employees to announce what they were having for lunch.
Yep, we miss the old Twitter, too.
But once in a blue moon, some wild story that touches on the very fabric of our collective humanity is shared via Twitter, and somehow the whole cesspool becomes worth it.
Enjoy x x.
Y’all. I have been having the most ridiculous 24 hours. Friend wants to keep the drama off twitter, but is okay with me saying this:
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 17, 2017
Y’all. I have been having the most ridiculous 24 hours. Friend wants to keep the drama off twitter, but is okay with me saying this:
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 17, 2017
It was going to be a low-key backyard wedding. We’re still doing the potluck & party. He’s not welcome. Locks changed, etc.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 17, 2017
I took her to the ranch overnight (got to fix my computer this morning as a result!) & we’re back in Austin. Swung by my house for supplies
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 17, 2017
She’s angry as hell. No tears yet. I was a bridesmaid and there was a third; 3rd and bride and I are plotting.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 17, 2017
Anyway, I’ll probably be MIA the rest of the day but figured y’all would appreciate knowing what was going on. It’s been an adventure.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 17, 2017
Quick update: potluck was fun, his crap is cleared out, and now we are dancing to a good DJ and shooting paintballs at her dress. A+
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
update: Everyone is now calling them “painballs” and I just can’t
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
HOLY SHIT SHITTY BRIDESMAID/SECRET GIRLFRIEND AND THE EX ARE IN LAS VEGAS WHAT IS GOING ON
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
SHE’S LIVESTREAMING THEM GETTING MARRIED WHAT EVEN IS GOING ON HOW IS THIS EVEN HAPPENING
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
everyone here is screaming and gathered around an ipad
the bride is on the grass crying with laughter
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
she managed to choke out “I didn’t dodge a bullet; I dodged a fucking atomic bomb” oh my gods this is just
what is happening
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
Shitty Bridesmaid is boasting how they’re going on a REAL honeymoon. We *were* taking bets on whether it would be a tacky resort in Mexico
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
or a cliche trip to Paris, but the Bride announced that he’s not leaving the country; she’s got his passport ??????
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
We are now taking bets on whether she’s going to livestream the wedding night.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
Oh btw Ex and Bride had a shared bank account for their honeymoon (they were planning on Scotland in late autumn). She drained & closed it
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
while waiting for me to pick her up last night. She’s changed the passwords on all her accounts (including her Netflix, ofc).
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
Dude just angrily texted her b/c he’s realized the money is gone
(she’s left Cohort Bridesmaid in charge of her phone)
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
I’m so, so glad she decided to go ahead with the potluck. Imagine if she’d been here alone or with just a couple of us instead of 30+ people
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
We’re all here, fiercely loving on her and supporting her. It’s been a hell of a day.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
A little context for y’all: 12 years ago, I caught my ex-fiancee cheating on me when I flew in to surprise her. Bride drove 3 hours to
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
get me and protect me from my grief. When I say I know she’d do the same for me… it’s from experience. I caught my cheater 1 yr b4 wedding
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
So yeah. Being here for her is… the right thing to do, anyway, but straight up karma coming back to boost her. Y’know?
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
The excitement of the day/evening is wearing down. We’re all starting to crash.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
Most folks are leaving/calling cabs. A core half-dozen of us are staying here w/her overnight. She won’t be alone this week unless she asks
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
Tomorrow we donate her mattress to a DV shelter. His clothes go to Goodwill. She owns his laptop. His mother is taking anything else.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
Unless something wild happens (and given the Ex and Shitty Bridesmaid’s nuptials, WHO KNOWS?!), this thread is probably done for the moment.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
Feel free to keep tabs on it; I’ll update it if anything else happens.
(<3 to all the support y’all have offered. You’re the best.)
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
Low-key update: we’ve decided to take his things to *multiple* goodwill locations. Can’t make it too easy for him to get it all back.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
Just to clear up a few things before I go to sleep: she’s not *keeping* his passport; he forgot it in his rush to flee his guilty conscience
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
It’s one of the items (along with photos and similar) that his mother will be taking. He can deal with *her* wrath.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
Secondly: they weren’t married, so they were both equally entitled to the full amount of the shared bank account. If she hadn’t taken it,
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
he would have. On Cohort Bridesmaid’s advice, that money will be moved into a different, new acct on Monday and won’t touch it for now.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
Just in case he’s foolish enough to attempt to pursue legal action.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
As for his clothes… well, we’re going to encourage him to “do the right thing” and “allow” her to donate them.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
She bought the Chromebook he uses. His work laptop will be with his mother.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
And on THAT note, I’m actually going to sleep. I think the adrenaline of today is finally, finally wearing off.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
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