Here’s What The SSM Ballot Looks Like & Voting ‘YES’ Is Gonna Be So Easy

The Australian Bureau of Statistics have done us a favour and released a preview of what will be ending up in your letterbox from tomorrow. Yep, the time to participate in the eye-rollingly depressing marriage equality postal survey is upon us; the least we can do is be prepared.

And bless the ABS, truly, because they’ve made it extremely simple. The ballot is basically the government equivalent of the note you passed to your crush in Grade 7 – you know, the one with “Do you like me???” in a heart and two check-boxes underneath (though if you were sly, you’d write “Yes” and “Absolutely” under those check boxes, and the ABS is undertaking no such shenanigans).

In order to do your duty and have your vote counted, all you have to do is mark ONE box with a dark pen, and send it back in the enclosed envelope. The ballot form specifically says to put ONLY the completed voting paper in the envelope – i.e. no glitter. I know it’s tempting. Resist.

Also, obviously, don’t mark both the boxes, because that will invalidate your vote, and don’t mess with the barcode on the form, ‘cos they need that for, I dunno, computer stuff.

May we also suggest that you do as the ballot form recommends and post your vote as soon as you fill it out? You know what you’re like. Don’t let the envelope linger in the pile of Target catalogues by the front door until it’s too late.

(And for the love of god don’t mistake the envelope for junk mail! We all remember what happened during the census!)

ALRIGHT. Here’s what you should be looking out for:

Here it is: your first look at the same-sex marriage postal form #auspol pic.twitter.com/7R5b9nhNk1

— Bevan Shields (@BevanShields) September 11, 2017

and the envelope #auspol pic.twitter.com/m8R1lSpbPd

— Bevan Shields (@BevanShields) September 11, 2017

That doesn’t seem so hard, hey?

One question. Simple yes or no. Nothing to do with kids or horses or harbor bridges or any of that bullshit. Just simply Yes or No. #VoteYes https://t.co/avSC4dbO9Q

— Andrew Eddy (@AEddy6087) September 11, 2017

Looks simple enough… No extra questions on attendant various and sundry societal apocalypses #SSM https://t.co/YmJrGgJxji

— Wendy Harmer (@wendy_harmer) September 11, 2017

Now get on the blower to your grandparents and make sure they’re whipping out their fountain pens to vote YES, too.

Let’s get it done.