Good lord, when will the madness end? 

You might think that America is culturally pretty close to us, minus a proper sense of self-deprecating humour and all the gigantic arachnids. You’d be wrong.

First it was kettle-gate (they don’t have them). Then it was the whole chocolate-milk-comes-from-brown-cows-thing. (Don’t get us started on the great sausage roll debacle of 2017.)

And now – now! – we have learned that Americans don’t have egg cups???

WHY?!

A Scottish bloke was the first to twig to the gaping void in the culinary lives of our US cousins, tweeting the following bewildered series:

But even after this string of devastating realisations, nothing could have prepared him – or us – for the horrible, horrible truth. 

An entire continent, living without the simple joy of dipping a toast soldier in a runny egg. Truly, the tragedy of our time. 

And – wait, what? They don’t have CUSTARD?

Not cool, America. Not. Cool.

Image: Ullstein Bild / Getty.