There Now Exists An App To Help You Find Kick Ons In Your City

As philosopher R Kelly once noted, after the show it’s the after party, then after the party it’s the hotel lobby, then around about four you gotta clear the lobby, then take it to your room and use an app on your phone to locate another party at which to drink at.  

If you’re at all familiar with the logistical merry-go-round of late night dragon-chasing, text messages along the lines of “where’s the vibe?”, “yo, you out?”, or “what’s good dawg?”, an “exciting new event discovery app” designed to facilitate kick-ons has now hit the smartphone market to revolutionise the way strangers fuck your house up. It’s called KickOn and uses a Tinder-like swipe interface enabling users to create events, invite guests and have the best fucking time ever provided they shake that weird Scandinavian guy Tall Mikey met in line at McDonalds because he smells like a sauna and won’t stop talking about that time he met Avicii. 

The app also offers up iron clad security measures by way of a unique QR code called a “kicket” (KickOn ticket) used to verify and control attendees.  

Users are also encouraged to “Earn the KickOn MVP (Most Valuable Partier) award by hosting and attending the most parties and getting the best ratings by fellow users.”

What could possibly go wrong?

The app is available now on iTunes. For more head to the KickOn website