YES YES YES YES YES.
The infamous poo date woman at the centre of that wild, insane, horrible story has broken her silence on Reddit.
If you somehow missed the greatest story of 2017, the woman was on a first date and found herself in an awful situation: she had an unflushable turd. When she tried throwing it out the window, it got stuck, and when she climbed into the window to rescue it, she got stuck herself.
She’s outed herself on Reddit as user tulip-0hare, otherwise known as (her words) the Shirehampton Shit Slinger.
“I am indeed the shamed Shirehampton Shit Slinger,” she wrote. “My friends have been comparing me to Miranda Hart [who once famously said she threw a poo out a window, accidentally aiming for the boy she liked]. It’s not something I’m proud of, but people are laughing, and if I’m making people happy then I’m not going to complain.”
Oh, how we are laughing. But also cringing and counting our blessings for every non-eventful shit we’ve ever had in a bathroom not our own. This could have been any one of us.
“I have tried to emphasise I don’t think this is rational behaviour it was a panic response,” she said in another comment.
“And within seconds I knew I’d made a terrible mistake… I would have left, but I just couldn’t do that to [her date]. I make bad choices sometimes but I like to think I’m not a bad person, and to me that would have been bad. I told him almost straight away, I couldn’t lie about something like that.”
She said she “would have felt awful leaving him with that kind of surprise,” and that “if he traced it back to me, I’m fairly sure he wouldn’t have been as accommodating as he has been if I’d done a runner.”
Instead, she threw the offending turd out the window. We all know what happens next: the poo got stuck, she tried to climb in to rescue it, and got stuck herself, meaning the fire brigade had to be called in.
“I reached down into the window and slipped too far,” she said. “I was suspended upside down for probably half an hour, I felt sick and had some quite nasty marks on my skin.”
The story received international attention after her date, Liam Smith, set up a GoFundMe to cover the £300 it would cost to replace the window.
“It’s been weird… my college class is all talking about it, not knowing it’s me,” she said.
At the time of writing, over £2,600 has been donated to the GoFundMe, with Smith promising the excess funds will go to charity.
“The GoFundMe wasn’t even my idea,” said the Shithampton Shit Slinger. “I offered to pay for the window, and actually as a result of it going up, two charities now have thousands of pounds.”
She confirmed the fledgling couple did meet again for a second date, but “as for a third date… I’m not sure.”
Incredible story to tell the grandkids, though.
